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Opposites Don’t Attract — They Attack
Let’s debunk the myth that “Opposites attract” once and for all. We are attracted to our spouse because they complement us. They bring completeness to our lives. In a relationship completeness is more than finding the missing piece to a puzzle. When the puzzle is done, it’s satisfying, but no longer fun and interesting.
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Post-Holidays – Blues or Bliss?🎄📦
The holidays have come and gone. As we’re taking down lights and packing away decorations, we thought we’d take a little time to reflect on how our different attitudes in the post-holiday season impact our relationship.
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We Are More Than a Single Story
Michelle: Recently for work, we watched a TED talk titled, “The Danger of a Single Story”. The presenter, a Nigerian author, shared that she left Nigeria as a 19-year-old, to attend a university in the United States. Her roommate knew, before they met, her age and where she was from. When they met for the first time, her surprised roommate asked her where she learned to speak English so well. She responded, “Well, English is the official language of Nigeria.” Her roommate also asked her if she had any recordings of the tribal music that they listen to. The author shared that she tremendously disappointed her roommate when she produced a tape of Mariah Carey. Her roommate had…
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Holiday Traditions
‘Tis the holiday season, full of hope, joy, and expectation. For many of us, it’s the perfect time of year to have expectations clash with reality and make little grinches of all of us. No! There must be a way to see Christmas is coming. With Jen in her kerchief and Nick in his cap, we soon settle down for a short jaunt into… holiday traditions.
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You Don’t Bring Me Flowers 💐
There’s an old Barbara Streisand / Neil Diamond song “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” that sometimes hops to mind when we’re in a rough patch or we see other couples we know in a rough spot. Who would know how much a simple gift can impact your relationship as a couple? But beware! Even bringing flowers home can be more complicated than you’d expect.
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I Can’t Change My Spouse
Be honest. How many of us find ourselves wondering “how much better would my marriage be, if not for the obvious shortcomings of the person I’m married to?” If only I could change my spouse! But the hard truth is, I can’t.
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Who Wants More Sex?
In pretty much every marriage, there’s one spouse who has a stronger sex drive than the other… Our Journey Ken: Typically, it’s us men who are more interested in sex: that’s how it is for me. I remember attending a marriage conference long ago where a woman raised her hand to ask a question. She explained that SHE wanted to make love more often than her husband, and this was a struggle for them. I couldn’t believe it. I wondered what it would be like to be married to a woman who wanted more sex. Janine: For years, I just didn’t understand why sex was such a big deal. Once…
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Making Decisions as a Couple is a 3-Legged Race
We make several thousand decisions a day. Most are based on experience and intuition — like putting your pants on one leg at a time. But making decisions as a couple requires skill, like a 3-Legged Race. Here are some tips to cross the finish line with skin and joints intact.
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Marriage is a Minefield
We walked into marriage blissfully unaware of any danger. Although we did get advice from more seasoned couples, nobody warned us that marriage is a minefield. Careless Early Explosions Jen: When we had only been married for about three years, we stepped on one of our first big landmines. It started out as a conversation about balancing the checkbook. We took turns with this task and looking at our finances so we both could see how our money was spent, but our perspectives were different. Nick was the main breadwinner while I was the main caretaker at home. Our different responsibilities made us biased to our own perspectives. Instead of…
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Loving Each Other in Spite of Our Differences
It’s no secret. We are different, two unique individuals formed from different backgrounds and experiences. While this frequently leads to us complementing each other, it can sometimes cause us to clash. Loving each other in spite of our differences is a decision we can make to break through these times of conflict.
