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Patience, Patience, Patience!
“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Barbara Johnson Julie: Our daughter-in-law is now 13 days overdue with our first grandchild. We’ve known he was coming since Feb. 9, the news of his upcoming arrival being my best birthday present ever. Looking back now, it seems like an eternity – and I’m not the one carrying him! Patience may be a virtue, but it is certainly not one of mine. This has been the cause of many rifts between John and me over the years.
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Our “One of a Kind” Marriage
Our marriage is one of a kind. While we’re two people who have come from different places, we put together our past and present influences to become something new.
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Why Sex Matters in Marriage
For many married couples, physical intimacy gradually decreases over time. Busy schedules, stress, or feelings of guilt or embarrassment can all contribute to a decline in this vital part of a healthy marriage. But what if we told you that prioritizing physical touch isn’t just about pleasure, but about strengthening your marriage and revitalizing your love? Sex matters in marriage. What’s the Big Deal? Janine: For a LONG time, I really didn’t understand how significant and important physical intimacy is. Making love was the last thing on my list of priorities, and I just didn’t understand why it seemed so important to Ken. When you were growing up, did you get the message that sex was…
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Opposites Attract?
You have likely heard the saying, “opposites attract.” While this is not always true, for many couples it is true. And when it is true, we have discovered that we can draw on our differences to make us a stronger couple.
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Love & Respect
Making generalized statements about men or women can be risky. But there’s one generalization that seems to apply to most of us. A few years ago, we went to a marriage enrichment on the topic of Love & Respect. It was based on a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (“Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs”), a New York Times best seller. The premise of this book is that men (in general) need to be respected, while women (in general) need to feel loved. Disagreeing Respectfully JANINE: Eggerichs points out that when a husband feels disrespected, it could just as well be translated as…
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You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello
You say good-bye and I say hello (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rblYSKz_VnI) is more than just an old Beatles song. Saying good-bye is rarely easy. Whether it be to a loved one in death, a move to a new city, a child going off to college, or changing jobs, good-byes are almost always painful. How we move through our good-byes can bring us closer to each other or pull us apart.
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Opposing Perspectives
We can both be in the same room looking at the same situation but have remarkably different responses to whatever is going on. Our perspective can be clouded by many things. You may think you’ve been kind and loving to your spouse – but later find out that they’re feeling lonely or unloved. Your spouse may think they were respectful to you, but you think they were being patronizing or condescending. When it comes down to “he said, she said”, it’s possible that neither of you is seeing everything clearly. How ‘Bout Some Netflix? One of the classic moments from our marriage that demonstrates this was one evening when Ken thought he’d…
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Married Singles
Why do married couples gradually (and unknowingly) drift toward finding fulfillment outside our marriage, rather than within our marriage? In one of his popular YouTube videos, entitled, “Wanting to Fix People,” Fr. Mike Schmitz talks about how husbands or wives might see something in their spouse that they dislike. Gradually this annoying behavior or characteristic can lead a spouse to look for fulfillment from someTHING else. Instead of my spouse being my one legitimate source of fulfillment, I’m going to replace them with ___________. You might fill in that blank with any number of things, such as: romance novels, TV binging, spending time with the kids, hunting, sports, emotional intimacy with a…
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Money Talk
Julie: 2023 has been the most expensive year we’ve ever had. Even more than when we had a couple of kids in college at the same time. We’ve known it was coming, and, fortunately, we’ve prepared for most of it. In a 12-month period, we will have funded the following: Wedding (groom’s side, so whew!) New roof on the house Replacing siding, shutters, gutters on same house A car Bats in the attic (AGAIN! Even after replacing the roof and siding! Sigh. At least the ants are gone. Click Going to Bat for Your Spouse for more on that.) A deck, which is ready to be condemned Landscaping, which will…
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Is “Being Right” Really Right?
John: “Being right” is a quality that I find irresistible. I often feel compelled to establish my “rightness” about something, even when I have that small voice of conscience telling me that adopting that attitude can be hurtful to Julie and our relationship. This can crop up in small everyday little things, like the best route to take on a local drive, or bigger things, like how to handle a difficult situation with a family member or friend. “I’m right,” whether spoken outright or evidenced by my behavior, has caused a lot of dissent in our relationship over the years.
