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Ready for a Marriage Check-up?
If someone asks, “How’s your marriage?” how would you answer? It’s hard to give an objective answer. This week, we offer a short quiz you can take to evaluate how things are going in your marriage. Before we can move toward the goal of a better marriage, we need to know where we are currently. Doing this Marriage Check-up exercise helped us take stock of how we were doing. Here’s what we learned… We had a couple areas where Ken’s scores were higher than Janine’s (or vice-versa) – Parenting and Spirituality. We agreed the area where we struggle the most as a couple was Conflict Resolution. This all led to some…
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Opposites Attract
Michelle: I love watching Dancing with the Stars. Chris: I love watching Ghost Hunters and I hate that I know the pros, past and present, who have been on Dancing with the Stars. Michelle: One of the pros, Mark Ballas, sings with his wife when he is not performing or rehearsing for a Tuesday night show. Chris: One afternoon, Michelle sent me the song, Highs and Lows, by Alexander Jean (the band formed by Mark Ballas and his wife Brittney Jean). Michelle sent it with a text that read, “This is so us.” Michelle: I remember as a child, hearing that opposites attract and being confused by the concept. My…
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Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice
Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.
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Money Matters
Let’s be honest. Money matters. When you get married, you’re not just sharing your Netflix password and your space—you’re also merging your bank accounts, bills, and spending habits. Money issues pop up all the time in married life. How you deal with finances together can make or break your happily ever after. Compatibility Counts Julie: We all have financial “baggage” or attitudes that affect our spending, from our upbringing to our personal experiences. John and I have very similar backgrounds. Coming from large families with a mom who stayed home to care for us when we were young meant that every penny counted. Neither of us were extravagant, and we were both savers. When…
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Patience, Patience, Patience!
“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Barbara Johnson Julie: Our daughter-in-law is now 13 days overdue with our first grandchild. We’ve known he was coming since Feb. 9, the news of his upcoming arrival being my best birthday present ever. Looking back now, it seems like an eternity – and I’m not the one carrying him! Patience may be a virtue, but it is certainly not one of mine. This has been the cause of many rifts between John and me over the years.
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Our “One of a Kind” Marriage
Our marriage is one of a kind. While we’re two people who have come from different places, we put together our past and present influences to become something new.
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Why Sex Matters in Marriage
For many married couples, physical intimacy gradually decreases over time. Busy schedules, stress, or feelings of guilt or embarrassment can all contribute to a decline in this vital part of a healthy marriage. But what if we told you that prioritizing physical touch isn’t just about pleasure, but about strengthening your marriage and revitalizing your love? Sex matters in marriage. What’s the Big Deal? Janine: For a LONG time, I really didn’t understand how significant and important physical intimacy is. Making love was the last thing on my list of priorities, and I just didn’t understand why it seemed so important to Ken. When you were growing up, did you get the message that sex was…
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Opposites Attract?
You have likely heard the saying, “opposites attract.” While this is not always true, for many couples it is true. And when it is true, we have discovered that we can draw on our differences to make us a stronger couple.
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Love & Respect
Making generalized statements about men or women can be risky. But there’s one generalization that seems to apply to most of us. A few years ago, we went to a marriage enrichment on the topic of Love & Respect. It was based on a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (“Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs”), a New York Times best seller. The premise of this book is that men (in general) need to be respected, while women (in general) need to feel loved. Disagreeing Respectfully JANINE: Eggerichs points out that when a husband feels disrespected, it could just as well be translated as…
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You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello
You say good-bye and I say hello (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rblYSKz_VnI) is more than just an old Beatles song. Saying good-bye is rarely easy. Whether it be to a loved one in death, a move to a new city, a child going off to college, or changing jobs, good-byes are almost always painful. How we move through our good-byes can bring us closer to each other or pull us apart.
