• Behaviors,  Communication,  friends

    3 Life Lessons From the Movie ‘Wicked’

    Michelle: After the Thanksgiving dishes were cleaned and put away, my family and I headed to the movie theater to see the cinematic experience that is Wicked! And, while the film offers an impressive cast, beloved songs and amazing scenes, it was also a treasure chest full of life lessons that were laced throughout the magical world of Oz. If you are unfamiliar with the premise, allow us to briefly set the stage.  Wicked is a musical told from the perspective of two witches, Elphaba and Galinda, before and after Dorthy’s arrival in Oz. The movie version of Wicked Part 1, which is essentially a prequel to the Wizard of…

  • Behaviors,  Children,  Conflict

    Tis the Season to Ruin Holidays

    As we were making plans with my mom, Taryn (our daughter) and her boyfriend, Kris for Thanksgiving, Taryn said, “Mom, remember when you guys ruined Thanksgiving?”   Well, we are here to tell you that Thanksgiving was just one of many holidays that we unintentionally ruined for Taryn.  While we could probably share every major holiday that was ruined in some way, we selected our top 3.  3. Thanksgiving: When Taryn was five, she was watching Sesame Street as Chris and I were in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner.  She came into the kitchen as Chris was pulling the turkey out of the oven to baste.  As he did this he said, “Wow, that’s…

  • patience
    Behaviors,  Conflict,  Differences,  Forgiveness

    Patience, Patience, Patience!

    “Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Barbara Johnson Julie:  Our daughter-in-law is now 13 days overdue with our first grandchild.  We’ve known he was coming since Feb. 9, the news of his upcoming arrival being my best birthday present ever.  Looking back now, it seems like an eternity – and I’m not the one carrying him!  Patience may be a virtue, but it is certainly not one of mine.  This has been the cause of many rifts between John and me over the years.

  • Behaviors,  Playfulness

    3 Ways to Date Your Spouse

    Michelle: As a couple, if we do not continue to pursue one another, we could wake up one day to find that we have become roommates.  The foundation of our relationship was built on friendship and romance.  Here are three easy ways that we have come up with to continue to nourish that foundation. 1. Look for Opportunities to Connect: When we were dating, Chris was constantly calling me, asking me to go grab a drink with him or even simply ride a bike together or take a walk.  After we got married and started raising our family, our connections went from intentional time to be together and check in,…

  • Accountability,  Behaviors

    Control in This Thing Called Life

    Chris: Stuff happens… and, when I think about all the stuff that could or probably will happen to me on any given day, I am reminded of the lyrics from an 80’s Prince classic, “Let’s Go Crazy”.   “Dearly beloved.  We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” While there are many opinions about Prince songs, this line seems to be spot on with our goal as humans-let’s make it through today.  But here’s a question…when stuff happens, how do you react?  Do you freeze, freak out or bury your head?  Or do you do some other variation of unproductive coping mechanisms that hijacks your logical brain, making you unable to problem…

  • Accountability,  Behaviors,  Communication,  Decision to Love

    What is Love Asking of Me Now?

    Michelle: Several years ago, a friend of mine shared that during a crashing disappointment in her relationship, her therapist suggested that she ask herself, “What is love asking of me now?” My friend shared that despite her instinct to move away from heartache, love was asking her to stretch in a way that she never had before. With several challenges in our lives, Chris and I have found ourselves asking this very question, “What is love asking of me now?” When I received a phone call from a friend of mine, sharing that her daughter died by suicide, I found myself wanting to allow the cloud of gray to recolor…

  • Behaviors,  Decision to Love,  Differences,  Making Decisions

    Love & Respect

    Making generalized statements about men or women can be risky. But there’s one generalization that seems to apply to most of us. A few years ago, we went to a marriage enrichment on the topic of Love & Respect. It was based on a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (“Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs”), a New York Times best seller. The premise of this book is that men (in general) need to be respected, while women (in general) need to feel loved. Disagreeing Respectfully JANINE: Eggerichs points out that when a husband feels disrespected, it could just as well be translated as…

  • Behaviors,  Communication,  Conflict

    Just Go To Bed

    Chris: As much as we both dislike conflict, we seem to have an uncanny ability to have disagreements at the most inopportune times.  Take, for example, the angry conversation we began about money, moments before our friends came over.  Or the heated discussion we had about being late to things, that I started because we were driving to church, LATE!  And, of course, there have been countless times that we have argued well into the wee hours of the morning, when all we really wanted to do was go to bed.   Michelle: At our wedding shower, people wrote cards to me with their sage marriage advice.  Card after card offered, “Never go to bed…

  • super-power of affirmation
    Behaviors,  Communication,  Decision to Love,  Making Decisions,  Romance

    The Super-Power of Affirmation

    JULIE: I’m not a superhero. While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him. Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.

  • Busy train
    Behaviors,  Decision to Love,  Making Decisions,  Playfulness

    The Busy Train

    Julie All Aboard! We pile in the Busy Train and hang on for dear life, John in one car and me in another.  The scenery flies by, until it becomes a blur.  Distracted by responsibilities and commitments, we see each other only in passing.  We talk at meals, but not about much, and not for long – too much to do!  Cuddle time flies out the window as we work late into the night and then get up and do it all over again the next day.  Stop the train!  I want to get off!