The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Relatives

    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Paul: Until recently, I figured it was fine for me to say whatever was on my mind as that meant I was being truthful and authentic with Stephanie. Then it dawned on me that some of those words are hurtful and have the potential to wound her.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022

    Why Go It Alone

    April 3, 2023

    TGIF!

    April 4, 2018
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF:  One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage  as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets.  “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom.  To which he replied “Kon-what?”  “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter.  Bring on the Joy!”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    3 Steps to End the Bickering

    April 12, 2021

    Marriage is a VERB

    March 11, 2019

    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Finances,  Forgiveness,  Sex

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019 / No Comments

    Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the things that have had the biggest impact on our marriage. 1. The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.”  We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them,

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    Ken and Janine

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    Not All Habits Are Bad

    April 10, 2022

    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018
    Just Do It

    “Just Do It!”

    September 28, 2026
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Time

    Married Singles

    May 6, 2019 / No Comments

    How do you find the right balance of couple time versus individual time? Sports, times with friends/co-workers, Facebook/Pinterest, hunting….  There are a lot of fun activities that can keep us busy – and distracted.  None of these activities are bad or wrong in themselves.  But… do they draw us slowly away from our spouse?

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    Ken and Janine

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    Trash Talk, arguing over chores

    Trash Talk

    June 20, 2021

    Laughter & Sex… That’s What She Said

    May 10, 2021
    Body language

    Body Language

    November 13, 2023
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Marriage ScoreCard

    April 8, 2019 / 2 Comments

    Photo Credit: Steve Halama You may have heard marriage described as a 50/50 proposition with each partner contributing 50% to equal the presumed goal of 100%.  While marriage is not a game, it is common to judge our effort like contestants in a competition.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Time for a Marriage Getaway? “Here’s Yer Sign”

    October 28, 2019

    Tone of Voice

    July 16, 2018

    How to FIX Your Spouse

    July 12, 2020
  • Communication,  Decision to Love

    What Happened to Our Passion?

    April 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Do you find yourself wondering, “What happened to us?!?!”  At some point, we all do.  We long for those days when we were dating and first married.  We were full of passion for each other and so in love.  Our lovemaking was frequent and passionate.  It seemed we couldn’t get enough of each other.  How did we get to a place where we were rubbing together like sandpaper, each doing our own thing?

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    Ken and Janine

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    I Could Use Some Help!

    September 7, 2020

    Just

    August 30, 2021

    Love’s Sweet Spot

    March 9, 2020
  • Communication,  Differences,  Making Decisions

    Marriage is a VERB

    March 11, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb.  It isn’t something you get.  It’s something you do.  It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Go Anywhere, Do Anything

    June 9, 2025

    Knowing and Loving

    September 22, 2024

    Dear Younger Us

    May 17, 2021
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

    March 4, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Yes, this is a strange twist.  We recently heard about James J Sexton’s book,“If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late.”  James is a divorce attorney from New York, who started noticing some patterns after 20 years of working with couples whose marriages were ending.

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    Ken and Janine

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    angry couple

    Making Up is Hard to Do

    August 28, 2022
    Boomerang baby

    Boomerang Baby

    June 20, 2022

    10 Things Women Want

    December 7, 2020
  • Decision to Love,  Romance,  Sex

    The Secret Recipe of Intimacy

    February 11, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Soroush Karimi In our last post we hinted at the complexity of intimacy, especially in the context of forgiveness and healing (1/13/19).  Intimacy involves more than sex.  In fact sex can sometimes be anything but intimate. Many authors and psychologists speak of at least 4 components to deep and sustained intimacy.  They often include emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical intimacy.  We like to think of this as the ‘Secret Recipe.’ To achieve this Intimacy we both need to desire and be willing to work towards intimacy.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Keeping Your Marriage Sane While Quarantined

    March 30, 2020

    Our “One of a Kind” Marriage

    July 28, 2024
    Couple running in sunset

    I Get to Love You

    February 10, 2025
  • Decision to Love,  Grief

    Good Grief

    January 21, 2019 / No Comments

    Learning how to grieve as a couple has been a process.  Ten years ago, we stumbled through intense grief together for the first time when Mel’s Dad died.   Together we learned to navigate the memories, tears, and the occasional meltdown.

    Read More
    Mark and Mel

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    Summertime Marriage

    July 7, 2024

    Overcoming Apathy in our Marriage

    October 12, 2020

    Reaching Out – Together

    April 20, 2020
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