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Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF:  One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage  as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets.  “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom.  To which he replied “Kon-what?”  “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter.  Bring on the Joy!”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Anger, Over the Top

    July 15, 2019
    being right

    To Be, or Not To Be…Right?

    September 8, 2025
    Couple on sofa discussing love languages

    What’s Your Spouse’s Love Language? 

    June 22, 2026
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Finances,  Forgiveness,  Sex

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019 / No Comments

    Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the things that have had the biggest impact on our marriage. 1. The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.”  We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them,

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    Ken and Janine

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    A Love That Surprises and Remembers

    February 10, 2020

    The Healing Power of Touch

    July 22, 2024

    Getting Teens to Talk

    February 2, 2020
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Time

    Married Singles

    May 6, 2019 / No Comments

    How do you find the right balance of couple time versus individual time? Sports, times with friends/co-workers, Facebook/Pinterest, hunting….  There are a lot of fun activities that can keep us busy – and distracted.  None of these activities are bad or wrong in themselves.  But… do they draw us slowly away from our spouse?

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    Ken and Janine

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    super-power of affirmation

    The Super-Power of Affirmation

    February 26, 2024

    Scorekeeping in Marriage

    December 8, 2019
    Vulnerability

    Finding Joy Through Vulnerability

    August 28, 2023
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Marriage ScoreCard

    April 8, 2019 / 2 Comments

    Photo Credit: Steve Halama You may have heard marriage described as a 50/50 proposition with each partner contributing 50% to equal the presumed goal of 100%.  While marriage is not a game, it is common to judge our effort like contestants in a competition.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Haven’t we had this fight before?

    October 21, 2019

    We Don’t Talk about That

    February 3, 2025

    Phones at the Dinner Table

    June 24, 2019
  • Communication,  Decision to Love

    What Happened to Our Passion?

    April 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Do you find yourself wondering, “What happened to us?!?!”  At some point, we all do.  We long for those days when we were dating and first married.  We were full of passion for each other and so in love.  Our lovemaking was frequent and passionate.  It seemed we couldn’t get enough of each other.  How did we get to a place where we were rubbing together like sandpaper, each doing our own thing?

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    Ken and Janine

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    Parenting 101 – United We Stand

    October 29, 2019

    We Are More Than a Single Story

    December 12, 2022

    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018
  • Communication,  Differences,  Making Decisions

    Marriage is a VERB

    March 11, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb.  It isn’t something you get.  It’s something you do.  It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Marriage Takes Work – What Does That Mean Anyway?

    April 26, 2019

    Ready for a Marriage Check-up?

    February 16, 2026
    Vulnerability

    Finding Joy Through Vulnerability

    August 28, 2023
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

    March 4, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Yes, this is a strange twist.  We recently heard about James J Sexton’s book,“If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late.”  James is a divorce attorney from New York, who started noticing some patterns after 20 years of working with couples whose marriages were ending.

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    Ken and Janine

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    Knowing and Loving

    September 22, 2024

    The Healing Power of Touch

    July 22, 2024
    Stones perfectly balanced against a background of the ocean

    Us Against the World

    August 22, 2021
  • Decision to Love,  Romance,  Sex

    The Secret Recipe of Intimacy

    February 11, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Soroush Karimi In our last post we hinted at the complexity of intimacy, especially in the context of forgiveness and healing (1/13/19).  Intimacy involves more than sex.  In fact sex can sometimes be anything but intimate. Many authors and psychologists speak of at least 4 components to deep and sustained intimacy.  They often include emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical intimacy.  We like to think of this as the ‘Secret Recipe.’ To achieve this Intimacy we both need to desire and be willing to work towards intimacy.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    The Rituals of Connection

    August 13, 2024

    A Plea For Real Men

    November 23, 2020
    Young wife with headache husband loving her in sickness and in health

    In Sickness and In Health

    September 20, 2021
  • Decision to Love,  Grief

    Good Grief

    January 21, 2019 / No Comments

    Learning how to grieve as a couple has been a process.  Ten years ago, we stumbled through intense grief together for the first time when Mel’s Dad died.   Together we learned to navigate the memories, tears, and the occasional meltdown.

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    Mark and Mel

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    Love & Respect

    April 8, 2024

    Love’s Sweet Spot

    March 9, 2020

    Wash War I

    March 9, 2026
  • Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Sex

    Lovemaking in the Context of Healing

    January 15, 2019 / No Comments

    A wonderful aspect of our lovemaking is the emotional bonding that is such a gift to our relationship. This intimate bonding can enable healing after conflict and even in the midst of conflict.  Lovemaking can be like a dance, one may pursue while the other hesitates.  Often I find lovemaking opens me to intimacy while Mary Frances finds she needs to experience intimacy to be open to lovemaking.  The “dance” is meeting enough in the middle that this mystery can continue to enrich our marriage.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    marriage requires commitment like the olympics

    Marriage – the Olympics of Relationships

    February 23, 2026

    Changing Our Dance and Learning to Love It

    July 6, 2020

    Ready for a Marriage Check-up?

    February 16, 2026
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