The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Relatives

    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Paul: Until recently, I figured it was fine for me to say whatever was on my mind as that meant I was being truthful and authentic with Stephanie. Then it dawned on me that some of those words are hurtful and have the potential to wound her.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Boy Send Girl love letters by paper airplane

    Love Letters

    November 1, 2021

    Boosting the Bright Side

    July 26, 2021

    A Love That Surprises and Remembers

    February 10, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF:  One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage  as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets.  “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom.  To which he replied “Kon-what?”  “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter.  Bring on the Joy!”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    The Super-Power of Affirmation

    February 26, 2024

    Go Anywhere, Do Anything

    June 9, 2025

    Boosting the Bright Side

    July 26, 2021
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Finances,  Forgiveness,  Sex

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019 / No Comments

    Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the things that have had the biggest impact on our marriage. 1. The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.”  We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them,

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    Ken and Janine

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    Just Go To Bed

    March 11, 2024

    The #1 Communication Problem in Marriage

    May 2, 2022

    Knowing and Loving

    September 22, 2024
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Time

    Married Singles

    May 6, 2019 / No Comments

    How do you find the right balance of couple time versus individual time? Sports, times with friends/co-workers, Facebook/Pinterest, hunting….  There are a lot of fun activities that can keep us busy – and distracted.  None of these activities are bad or wrong in themselves.  But… do they draw us slowly away from our spouse?

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    Ken and Janine

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    Our Ketchup Story

    September 2, 2019
    To DO list with Take Time-out for US! Checked off

    Time-out!

    January 19, 2026

    Play’s The Thing!

    January 26, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Marriage ScoreCard

    April 8, 2019 / 2 Comments

    Photo Credit: Steve Halama You may have heard marriage described as a 50/50 proposition with each partner contributing 50% to equal the presumed goal of 100%.  While marriage is not a game, it is common to judge our effort like contestants in a competition.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Us Against the World

    August 22, 2021

    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018

    5 Reasons You Need a Getaway Without Kids

    January 8, 2024
  • Communication,  Decision to Love

    What Happened to Our Passion?

    April 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Do you find yourself wondering, “What happened to us?!?!”  At some point, we all do.  We long for those days when we were dating and first married.  We were full of passion for each other and so in love.  Our lovemaking was frequent and passionate.  It seemed we couldn’t get enough of each other.  How did we get to a place where we were rubbing together like sandpaper, each doing our own thing?

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    Ken and Janine

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    Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing

    January 18, 2021

    Does He Buy You Avocados

    June 19, 2023
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    Beyond biology: Where Do Babies Come From?

    August 3, 2021
  • Communication,  Differences,  Making Decisions

    Marriage is a VERB

    March 11, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb.  It isn’t something you get.  It’s something you do.  It’s the way you love your partner every day.”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018
    mother and daughter as confidants

    Beyond biology: Where Do Babies Come From?

    August 3, 2021

    Who Wants More Sex?

    July 25, 2022
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

    March 4, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Yes, this is a strange twist.  We recently heard about James J Sexton’s book,“If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late.”  James is a divorce attorney from New York, who started noticing some patterns after 20 years of working with couples whose marriages were ending.

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    Ken and Janine

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    What Happened to the Person I Married?

    January 20, 2020
    tired couple

    Kudos To The Tired Dad

    March 24, 2025

    Intentional Marriage — 50 Ways

    October 14, 2019
  • Decision to Love,  Romance,  Sex

    The Secret Recipe of Intimacy

    February 11, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Soroush Karimi In our last post we hinted at the complexity of intimacy, especially in the context of forgiveness and healing (1/13/19).  Intimacy involves more than sex.  In fact sex can sometimes be anything but intimate. Many authors and psychologists speak of at least 4 components to deep and sustained intimacy.  They often include emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical intimacy.  We like to think of this as the ‘Secret Recipe.’ To achieve this Intimacy we both need to desire and be willing to work towards intimacy.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    It’s Not About the Dress

    July 6, 2018

    Overcoming Apathy in our Marriage

    October 12, 2020

    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019
  • Decision to Love,  Grief

    Good Grief

    January 21, 2019 / No Comments

    Learning how to grieve as a couple has been a process.  Ten years ago, we stumbled through intense grief together for the first time when Mel’s Dad died.   Together we learned to navigate the memories, tears, and the occasional meltdown.

    Read More
    Mark and Mel

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    Leave & Cleave

    October 8, 2018

    Rewind

    September 26, 2022

    In-Laws or Outlaws?

    February 26, 2019
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