The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Passion

    Marriage Magic

    December 16, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit:  Jared Lind on Unsplash As we become immersed in this holiday season we are drawn to the magic.  Recall the wonder and awe of your childhood, reindeers that fly and a Santa who made dreams come true.  Fast-forward several decades.  Remember the rush of feelings when you knew your spouse was ‘the one‘.  You reveled in discovering this person who showered you with love and support.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

    January 9, 2021

    Yelping my Spouse-Round Two 

    September 14, 2026

    The Elf on the Shelf

    December 21, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Scorekeeping in Marriage

    December 8, 2019 / No Comments

    “Scorekeeping” in our marriage can lead to resentment. It starts with an attitude of “I deserve more” where we keep a tally of all the things we do for our spouse. “I did the laundry so he should do the dishes.” This is compounded by the fact that men and women keep score differently.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Common marriage mistakes

    Top 10 Tips to Ruin Your Marriage 

    March 23, 2026
    Body language

    Body Language

    November 13, 2023
    Big Challenges, Big Rewards

    Big Challenges, Big Rewards

    September 9, 2024
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Finances

    Got Money Arguments?

    November 25, 2019 / No Comments

    When couples have conversations about money, it often leads to disagreements, defensiveness, and arguments. Why is it so difficult to talk about finances? Conversations about money usually aren’t JUST about money. We all have underlying feelings (some very strong) about money. Fear. Insecurity. Resentment. Our past experiences affect how we deal with money. When we talk with our spouse about how to spend or save, all those memories and feelings start to surface.

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    The 5 “P’s” of Constructive Feedback

    March 29, 2021

    Haven’t we had this fight before?

    October 21, 2019

    My Tip Troll

    May 30, 2022
  • Communication,  Passion,  Romance,  Time

    What are you passionate about?

    November 18, 2019 / No Comments

    Jen: Passion is defined as an intense desire or enthusiasm for something. In my life, I’m passionate about our children – making sure they are loved and supported, helping them become responsible adults. I’m passionate about my work, helping kids develop a love of reading. I’m also passionate about my hobby of quilting, trying to create art through fabric. All of these things fill me with an intense desire and enthusiasm in varying degrees.

    Read More
    Nick and Jen

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    The Healing Power of Touch

    July 22, 2024

    Finding Peace

    August 30, 2026

    Marriage: Our Security in the Chaos

    April 5, 2020
  • Communication

    Affirmations That Will Make Your Heart Soar!

    November 11, 2019 / No Comments

     Photo Credit:  Peter Boccia on Unsplash In our last post, we shared with you 50 ways to live an Intentional Marriage.  This week we want to focus on one — the Power of Affirmation.  The effects of self-affirmation and the power of positive thinking are well know in self-help literature.  Being affirmed by your spouse elevates this power exponentially.  In this post we will talk about what constitutes a good affirmation and why it is so effective, especially in the presence of others.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Big Challenges, Big Rewards

    Big Challenges, Big Rewards

    September 9, 2024

    Marriage Is a Teeter-Totter Ride

    July 18, 2022

    What is Sexy?

    September 6, 2018
  • Children,  Communication,  Parenting

    Parenting 101 – United We Stand

    October 29, 2019 / No Comments

    One of the most challenging things in our marriage was learning to raise responsible, caring, well-adjusted children. Now that our children are adults, we are back to child-rearing mode with our two year old granddaughter who lives with us.  Here are 6 lessons we’ve learned.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Heart Cards

    February 7, 2022

    Ugh, Mom and Dad, no PDA!

    September 23, 2019

    Getting Teens to Talk

    February 2, 2020
  • Children,  Communication,  Decision to Love,  Parenting,  Romance,  Time

    Time for a Marriage Getaway? “Here’s Yer Sign”

    October 28, 2019 / No Comments

    You proposed.  She accepted.  White dress, wedding bells.  New house, new bills.  Kids. Jobs. TV. Internet. Full calendar. What happened?  What’s next? Photo by Alyssa Ledesma on Unsplash We thought our marriage was “fine” but we were focused on running from one kid’s sports to the next kid’s music lessons.  There wasn’t time for those long talks about our future.  Even though we thought the honeymoon would last forever…it didn’t.  We were more focused on the kids than on each other.  As the romance faded, we gradually became more aware of each others’ flaws.  We lost sight of  who WE were as a couple.

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019
    Co-parenting my child

    Co-parenting My Child

    October 11, 2021

    Can We Have Some Pickles with That Sandwich?

    September 15, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Differences,  Forgiveness,  Perseverance,  Stress

    Haven’t we had this fight before?

    October 21, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.

    Read More
    Nick and Jen

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    $#*! My Spouse Says

    September 19, 2023
    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022
    Trash Talk, arguing over chores

    Trash Talk

    June 20, 2021
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Forgiveness,  Time

    Intentional Marriage — 50 Ways

    October 14, 2019 / No Comments

    “Intentional” is a popular buzzword these days.  We are intentional in the workplace, in the way we handle our finances, our fitness routine, and the way we raise and discipline our children.  The list goes on and on and for good reason.  Intentional means to do something deliberately, consciously or with purpose.  It means it didn’t happen on a whim; someone planned for it to happen and persisted until it happened.

    Read More
    Tom and Mary Frances

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    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019

    Who Wants More Sex?

    July 25, 2022
    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022
  • Children,  Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Parenting,  Time

    The Happiest Place on Earth – NOT (this time)

    October 7, 2019 / No Comments

    We recently went to Disneyland with our  adult daughter and our 2 year old granddaughter. All three adults had high hopes for a fun-filled family time at the “happiest” place on earth. When naysayers told us we were crazy for taking a two year old to Disneyland, we scoffed at them. We’ve been there, done this before. But we hadn’t been there, done that with a toddler. The crowds, a cranky toddler, and plenty of unmet expectations led to a communication breakdown that was a debacle for all of us. None of us ended up having much fun and we left a day early.

    Read More
    Paul and Stephanie

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    Parenting as a Team

    March 16, 2020

    Empty Nest – Syndrome or Summit?

    February 17, 2020

    Tis the Season to Ruin Holidays

    November 11, 2024
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