The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Time

    Taking Your Marriage on Vacation

    July 29, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Photo by Wilson Sánchez Nine years into marriage, we were planning to leave town to visit family after Mark worked a half day. Mel packed up the kids and the car, and Mark just needed to throw in his suitcase. Mark was delayed several hours at work. By the time we met up, we were both irritated and highly stressed and just

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    Mark and Mel

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    Making Up is Hard to Do

    June 21, 2018

    What is Love Asking of Me Now?

    May 6, 2024
    Roamntic man and woman standing in front of a large flame

    4 Ways to Keep the Sexual Pilot Light Lit

    March 21, 2022
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Anger, Over the Top

    July 15, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Photo Credit: Birgit Lengert We all know anger when we see it  — a clenched fist, a raised voice, a sullen look.  Anger can quickly surface and is readily expressed, but often it is a cover up for underlying feelings: 

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Heart Cards

    February 7, 2022

    Be Ready

    July 11, 2022

    Affirmations That Will Make Your Heart Soar!

    November 11, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Relatives

    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019 / No Comments

    Paul: Until recently, I figured it was fine for me to say whatever was on my mind as that meant I was being truthful and authentic with Stephanie. Then it dawned on me that some of those words are hurtful and have the potential to wound her.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018

    In Sickness and In Health

    August 15, 2022

    Stale Crackers

    November 2, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict

    Phones at the Dinner Table

    June 24, 2019 / 3 Comments

    While out to dinner recently we had a misunderstanding near the end of the meal.  I (Mel) was looking up information on my phone and showing it to Mark.  He was clearly disinterested, and I felt puzzled.

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    Mark and Mel

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    Words – The Seeds of Life in Marriage

    July 1, 2019

    The Elephant in the Living Room

    June 29, 2020

    Candid Chris

    March 7, 2022
  • Communication

    Marriage Manners Matter

    June 17, 2019 / 5 Comments

    Photo Credit: Thought Catalog “Fine!” and “Whatever!”  These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt.  They send the insensitive message of “I don’t care. Discussion over.  Period. Full stop!”   As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words.  And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline. Those 2 little words are not  the focus of this blog.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Parenting as a Team

    March 16, 2020

    Married Singles

    May 6, 2019
    being right

    To Be, or Not To Be…Right?

    September 8, 2025
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF:  One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage  as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets.  “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom.  To which he replied “Kon-what?”  “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter.  Bring on the Joy!”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    The Elf on the Shelf

    December 21, 2020

    Knowing and Loving

    September 22, 2024
    Positive advice on a napkin

    Sex — Naughty or Nice?

    June 27, 2021
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Finances,  Forgiveness,  Sex

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019 / No Comments

    Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the things that have had the biggest impact on our marriage. 1. The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.”  We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them,

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    Ken and Janine

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    How to Resolve Disagreements in Marriage

    June 30, 2025

    The Benefit of the Doubt

    August 31, 2020

    Sex-pectations

    June 15, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Forgiveness

    Hurtful Attitudes in Marriage

    May 28, 2019 / No Comments

    Last weekend we stumbled across something that made us stop and re-evaluate our attitude. Sometimes our attitude comes across as a superiority – like when we believe we possess qualities or traits that our spouse doesn’t and become condescending – and this hurts our relationship. By “qualities” and “traits” we mean things such as: generosity, patience, understanding, compassion. Perhaps a couple of examples would help.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

    July 19, 2020

    Walking Down Memory Lane

    November 7, 2021
    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Time

    Married Singles

    May 6, 2019 / No Comments

    How do you find the right balance of couple time versus individual time? Sports, times with friends/co-workers, Facebook/Pinterest, hunting….  There are a lot of fun activities that can keep us busy – and distracted.  None of these activities are bad or wrong in themselves.  But… do they draw us slowly away from our spouse?

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    Ken and Janine

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    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022

    Marriage ScoreCard

    April 8, 2019

    Phones at the Dinner Table

    June 24, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Marriage ScoreCard

    April 8, 2019 / 2 Comments

    Photo Credit: Steve Halama You may have heard marriage described as a 50/50 proposition with each partner contributing 50% to equal the presumed goal of 100%.  While marriage is not a game, it is common to judge our effort like contestants in a competition.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Dear Younger Us

    May 17, 2021

    Reaching Out – Together

    April 20, 2020

    In Sickness and In Health

    April 15, 2019
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