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Ready for a Marriage Check-up?
If someone asks, “How’s your marriage?” how would you answer? It’s hard to give an objective answer. This week, we offer a short quiz you can take to evaluate how things are going in your marriage. Before we can move toward the goal of a better marriage, we need to know where we are currently. Doing this Marriage Check-up exercise helped us take stock of how we were doing. Here’s what we learned… We had a couple areas where Ken’s scores were higher than Janine’s (or vice-versa) – Parenting and Spirituality. We agreed the area where we struggle the most as a couple was Conflict Resolution. This all led to some…
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After the Thrill is Gone . . . How Do We Make Love Stay?
We recently heard the songs After the Thrill is Gone (Eagles) and Make Love Stay (Dan Fogelberg) and they have been an ear-worm, and source of reminiscing for us. Youth never imagines the thrill being gone, but it happens to all of us.
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Opposites Attract
Michelle: I love watching Dancing with the Stars. Chris: I love watching Ghost Hunters and I hate that I know the pros, past and present, who have been on Dancing with the Stars. Michelle: One of the pros, Mark Ballas, sings with his wife when he is not performing or rehearsing for a Tuesday night show. Chris: One afternoon, Michelle sent me the song, Highs and Lows, by Alexander Jean (the band formed by Mark Ballas and his wife Brittney Jean). Michelle sent it with a text that read, “This is so us.” Michelle: I remember as a child, hearing that opposites attract and being confused by the concept. My…
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Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice
Some time ago, we wrote about the importance of being aware of the Tone of Voice we use with our spouse. The gist of the post was that our Tone of Voice is the key culprit that begins most disagreements, hurts, and fights between spouses. We want to revisit this important topic and provide some additional helpful hints we’ve learned along the way.
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Go Anywhere, Do Anything
Chris: Over Memorial Day weekend, Michelle and I went wheeling in Moab, Utah, earning some Jeep badges along the way. We realized that some of the best off-road advice can be applied to our marriage. Here is our top five. Michelle: Number Five-Things will get gnarly. Moab is known for some of the best and trickiest off-road trails. But things can go from a calm day in nature to gnarly, real quick. We have learned that the same is true in our relationship. We have had a lot of smooth adventures in our marriage. But the true test of us comes from how we pull together when life does not…
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3 Life Lessons From the Movie ‘Wicked’
Michelle: After the Thanksgiving dishes were cleaned and put away, my family and I headed to the movie theater to see the cinematic experience that is Wicked! And, while the film offers an impressive cast, beloved songs and amazing scenes, it was also a treasure chest full of life lessons that were laced throughout the magical world of Oz. If you are unfamiliar with the premise, allow us to briefly set the stage. Wicked is a musical told from the perspective of two witches, Elphaba and Galinda, before and after Dorthy’s arrival in Oz. The movie version of Wicked Part 1, which is essentially a prequel to the Wizard of…
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The Power of Gratitude in Marriage
Sharing gratitude for a spouse is the most important predictor of the quality of marriage. This study shows expressing thanks for your partner can protect your marriage from the toxic effects of conflict and hardship. This is true even in the face of financial stress or negative communication patterns. The Many Benefits of Sharing Gratitude Gratitude expresses appreciation for what you have. This is in contrast to constantly reaching for something new hoping it will make you happier. Simply sharing gratitude can lead to increase in physical health and happiness as noted in this study Studies have also shown there are relationship benefits to gratitude such as: In a healthy…
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The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage
Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the 7 best things we’ve done that have had the biggest impact on our marriage… 1. Love Languages The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.” We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them, but it doesn’t necessarily translate into him/her feeling loved….IF we’re not speaking THEIR language. When we read this short book together and learned to speak each other’s language, it was a game changer for us. To learn more, read: What Language are you Speaking? 2. Finances Get on the Same Page…
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Knowing and Loving
Back in 1958, a group known as The Teddy Bears recorded the song, “To Know Him is to Love Him.” To Know Him Is To Love Him (youtube.com) It’s kind of a schmaltzy ballad, to be sure, but thinking of the title of the song causes us to wonder: how many of us really know our spouse… really know them…beyond “The Newlywed Game” know them? Do we know their innermost thoughts and feelings, their joys and sorrows, griefs and anxieties, hopes and dreams? The Journal Karen: Many years ago, my parents gave me a diary for my 12th birthday. I filled that little book with all the typical adolescent girl…
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The Healing Power of Touch
A previous blog explored a super power we all have within us – the Super Power of Affirmation. But did you know that you possess another Super Power? It’s the Healing Power of Touch. Holy Hole in a Doughnut, Batman! Bet you didn’t know you had all that in you!
