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Removing the Invisibility Cloak
Chris: When we first moved to Arizona from Oklahoma, I went from an on-site job, to working from home. My being home meant that my “honey-do” list grew, because my wife thought my lack of travel to an office could afford me plenty of time to complete all kinds of projects. Michelle: After a couple of years of living in Arizona, less and less items were being checked off my list. Then, one evening, I came home to find none of my list accomplished. I was frustrated. I remember wondering how he could be home all day and not do any of the items on my list. That evening, we had a conversation that…
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How Do We Stay Connected When We’re Busy?
“What time are you done working today?” “Why? Is there some place I need to be?” “Well, our son has band practice and all the other drivers in our household are either working or at school, so it’s got to be one of us.” “OK, you take the drop off and I’ll get us ready for the meeting we have to attend…” How many of you have had a conversation like this? It’s a common thing for married people with kids to be pulled in multiple directions and be forced into divide-and-conquer mode. But in the midst of this, how do we stay connected and on the same page as…
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Just. Do. It.
Julie We just got back from the trip of a lifetime – a safari in Africa. It was an unforgettable experience. The variety of animals we saw, the beautiful landscapes that were so different from ours, the people we encountered, and a taste of the history and culture was something that touched us deeply. But the trip was more than that… It was a celebration of friendship between John and his closest friends. They met on their first day of college years ago and have remained best friends. This was the 60th birthday year for the group and so the plan was hatched about a year and a half ago…
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Tip of the Iceberg
KEN: Some years ago, we noticed a small spot of rust on our car and decided to scrape it off and re-paint it. The more I scraped away at that small rust spot the more I found. That darn rust had grown like a cancer un-detected for who knows how long. Just a little crack… JANINE: A few months ago, I found some tiny cracks on the floorboard in our basement bedroom. As we looked more carefully, we found mold, and water damage that had likely been going on for a few years. Needless to say, this led to hours of work on ripping out moldy carpet, walls, landscaping, sealing cracks, and…
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Life Outside Our Comfort Zone
Life outside our comfort zone has benefits. When we challenge ourselves to step outside our comfort zone, it brings growth and fulfillment. Unfortunately, the fear of failure can sometimes keep us in the safe zone.
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$#*! My Spouse Says
Chris: Because Michelle and I frequently commute from Tucson to Phoenix, we try to find stand-up comedians or funny books to listen to, to help pass the time. Recently, on one of those commutes, we began listening to the book. Sh*t My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern. While, we both heard our own fathers in many of Justin’s examples, we almost simultaneously said, “Wow I bet we could write a post about the $#*! you say.” While we realized we actually had enough material for a book, we are going to limit it to two examples. Michelle: When we were first married, Chris and I liked to ride our bikes…
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Does Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?
This past week we had to spend time apart as Jen traveled cross-country to spend some time helping her sister. When we spend time apart, there is a natural distance between us. Time apart can put a strain on our relationship. It is the combination of not being together, combined with the stress of travel on the one away and the stress of holding down the fort on the one who stays at home.
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Finding Joy Through Vulnerability
Julie Vulnerability can be scary. In her book, Daring Greatly, Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Uncertainty? Risk? Emotional Exposure? Who wants to sign up for that? Well, actually, we all did when we said, “I do.” In promising to love each other and give ourselves completely to one another, we basically said, “ I will love you even when you are struggling, even when you are weak, even when you are hurting. You are safe with me.”
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Married Singles
Why do married couples gradually (and unknowingly) drift toward finding fulfillment outside our marriage, rather than within our marriage? In one of his popular YouTube videos, entitled, “Wanting to Fix People,” Fr. Mike Schmitz talks about how husbands or wives might see something in their spouse that they dislike. Gradually this annoying behavior or characteristic can lead a spouse to look for fulfillment from someTHING else. Instead of my spouse being my one legitimate source of fulfillment, I’m going to replace them with ___________. You might fill in that blank with any number of things, such as: romance novels, TV binging, spending time with the kids, hunting, sports, emotional intimacy with a…
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Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say
Seriously, Don’t hide the chocolate! Lesson learned: “Say what you mean. Mean what you say.”
