The Kindness Challenge

We recently read Shaunti Feldhahn’s book, The Kindness Challenge, and loved it. I value kindness in myself and long to see this virtue once again be a standard in our society. She drives home the point that practicing kindness not only makes you a kinder person, but also opens your eyes to the kindness around you. It can create a positive spiral in any relationship, in your home, the workplace, your community and dare we say it — in our world!

The 30-Day Kindness Challenge

We invite you to take the 30-Day Kindness Challenge with us. The Kindness Challenge cannot change a feisty neighbor, pettiness in the workplace, or an idiosyncrasy in your spouse. But it can empower you to change * your perspective, * your attitude, * your actions and * your reactions.

Kindness is a Superpower

• Kindness is more beneficial than kale and the most antioxidant rich smoothie
• Kindness is not sucking it up and being silent — “If you can’t say something kind . . .“
• Kindness is more than being nice
• Kindness is being generous, empathetic, and compassionate — “Love is patient, Love is . . .“

Be Kind; Let Me Count the Ways . . .

MF: I knew I was married to the kindest man on the planet. I didn’t know how kind! Reading the book showed me a multitude of ways that I can be more kind. For example: Saying thank you for routine things (check out Marriage Manners Matter). Offer praise, compliment and give the benefit of the doubt (check out Assume Positive Intent).

A real eye-opener for me was recognizing that telling Tom what I need, and even what I expect, is an act of kindness and generosity. My tone of voice is critical, “Honey I need you to be home on time tonight” is a kind way to express this expectation (see Verbal Judo — Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice). I knew that asking for what I needed was helpful, but I had not considered it an act of kindness. Expecting Tom to figure me out and “Just do it!” can heap a boatload of my disappointment onto his plate. That is anything but kind! Sharing a specific request doesn’t make the gift any less generous. It may, in fact, make it more generous.

Nix the Negative

TOM: Realizing that even thinking negative thoughts is not being kind was helpful to me. Internal negativity will eventually come out as criticism, sarcasm, or be judgmental. Focusing on the good and seeking first to understand prior to reacting can make all the difference. Allowing my mind to go negative makes it more likely I will criticize MF for being irritable. When my mind is not cluttered with negativity, I am more likely to be on her side and focus on understanding her needs, feelings and concerns.

Let’s Do This!

We invite you to join us in a 30-Day Kindness Challenge (see the 3 components below). You may choose any person whom you wish to grow in your ability to be more kind. Your spouse may be a natural choice, but a child, extended family member or co-worker may bring you the most growth. Kindness is like a pebble tossed into a pond, the ripples reach out and touch many. They may even reverberate back to you.

The 30-Day Kindness Challenge

You can read more about the Kindness Challenge here and get specific ideas.

1. Say nothing negative about that person — either to them or about them to anyone else.
2. Each day find one positive thing you can praise or affirm about that person and tell them and tell someone else.
3. Each day, do one small act of kindness or generosity for them.

Kindness Starts with You

30-days to a kinder you, a kinder relationship, a kinder work place and kinder world. We look forward to learning what you found most helpful, surprising and even difficult. Kindness starts with you! Pass it on!