The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • mother and daughter as confidants
    Children,  Communication,  Parenting,  Sex

    Beyond biology: Where Do Babies Come From?

    August 3, 2021 / No Comments

      The focus of our last post, “Sex — Naughty or Nice” was our learned attitudes about sex. We hope you ventured into exploring your own attitudes about sexuality. If not, there is not time like the present to dive in. As promised, we will focus this post on Beyond Biology: Where Do Babies Come From?

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Parenting 101 – United We Stand

    October 29, 2019

    Was it Bad Parenting or Making Memories?

    October 31, 2022

    KFC – It’s What’s for Mother’s Day!

    May 4, 2021
  • Positive advice on a napkin
    Communication,  Parenting,  Passion,  Sex

    Sex — Naughty or Nice?

    June 27, 2021 / 2 Comments

    Sexual Expression is Everywhere Think: TV, Billboards and Music videos. So, why do we struggle to express our sexuality until the kids are asleep, and the bedrooms shades drawn? Answer: Perhaps, we were taught sex was taboo. This is sexual sabotage, likely unintentional. But unless we rid ourselves of these ghosts from the past, we will pass them on to our children.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Taking the Easy Road

    June 7, 2021
    mother and daughter as confidants

    Beyond biology: Where Do Babies Come From?

    August 3, 2021

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019
  • Communication,  Sex,  Stress

    Laughter & Sex… That’s What She Said

    May 10, 2021 / No Comments

    Laughter can make hardship more tolerable like the glue that holds a marriage together when everything else is falling apart.  Laughter is also a lot like sex.  Both are pleasurable, shed calories, build immunity, reduce stress and put a smile on your face all day.  Seriously!

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    The #1 Communication Problem in Marriage

    May 2, 2022

    Listening = Love and Respect

    June 1, 2020

    Marriage Wake-Up Calls

    August 7, 2023
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Differences,  Stress,  Time

    3 Steps to End the Bickering

    April 12, 2021 / 1 Comment

    Even the best marriages succumb to nit-picking over how to do the laundry or load the dishwasher.  We differ over asking or not asking for directions and bicker over who’s to blame for being late or how we spend money.  While these quarrels may seem trivial, in reality, they matter and getting to a solution beats bickering any day.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    tired couple

    Kudos To The Tired Dad

    March 24, 2025
    mother and daughter as confidants

    Beyond biology: Where Do Babies Come From?

    August 3, 2021
    Roamntic man and woman standing in front of a large flame

    4 Ways to Keep the Sexual Pilot Light Lit

    March 21, 2022
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    The 5 “P’s” of Constructive Feedback

    March 29, 2021 / No Comments

    Photo Credit:  Ian Schneider (Reprise of post originally published on 09-16-2019) We once read an article on criticism in marriage.  The Author’s bottom line was “don’t do it.”  Even asking: “Can I give you some feedback?” was cautioned against.  Sometimes suggestions given with the best intent with regard to work, chores, relationships with the kids can back fire.  Think back seat driving.  Experience has taught us 5 Key Points for when we just want to give each other a little suggestion.  These 5 simple points set the tone and enable us to let down our defenses and be supportive of each other when offering a little constructive feedback. 

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    My Tip Troll

    May 30, 2022

    Radical non-Parenting

    November 9, 2020
    Couple on sofa discussing love languages

    What’s Your Spouse’s Love Language? 

    June 22, 2026
  • Decision to Love,  Differences,  Stress

    When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

    February 15, 2021 / No Comments

    For many of us the COVID honeymoon is long over.  Isolation, loss of routines, access to the gym, financial worries, working from home and changing school schedules has had us stretched too thin too long.  We’d rather eat an entire loaf of bread than bake one and if we hear how much someone enjoys the extra time with their kids we’ll scream!  This is COVID Stress.  We’ve all experienced it.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage

    October 19, 2020
    football Game plan board with hearts and os

    The Game of Life

    July 12, 2021

    In-Laws or Outlaws?

    February 26, 2019
  • Communication,  Sex

    Sex: Spontaneous or Planned . . . Let the Conversation Begin

    January 4, 2021 / No Comments

    Happy New Year to all!  We are so grateful that 2020 is clearly in our rear-view mirror.  What a relief.  The start of a new year is traditionally set aside for reflection and resolutions.  For us, 2021 was no different. We often make couple as well as individual resolutions.  Stress and busyness, age and life in general had cooled our sexual relationship to a slow simmer.  Our 2021 goal is :  “Some is good.  More is better!”  Planned or spontaneous — all is good! Let the conversation begin.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Boosting the Bright Side

    July 26, 2021

    8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

    July 19, 2020

    The Elephant in the Living Room

    June 29, 2020
  • Children,  Communication,  Decision to Love,  Parenting

    Radical non-Parenting

    November 9, 2020 / No Comments

    One of the hardest challenges of staying in relationship with married children is to cease parenting and to simply be a parent.  When children marry we do not simply welcome a new member into the family.  The marriage of a child radically changes family dynamics and relationships.  Tying the knot in marriage is as profound as cutting the cord at birth.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Fair is Not Necessarily Equal

    December 13, 2021

    The Empty Nest Repopulated – 4 Ways to make it Great!

    October 26, 2020

    Don’t Forget to Laugh

    January 13, 2025
  • Communication,  Differences

    Finding Solid Ground — 7 Steps

    September 29, 2020 / No Comments

    Fall ushers in beautiful color, long shadows and cooler weather. Parents and kids thrive with the routine of school. This fall is anything but typical  as we grow even more weary of the pandemic. We worry about finances and fret as to whether to send kids to school or stay virtual. With wildfires and hurricanes of epic proportion and a looming election, it seems the social fabric of our country is being ripped to shreds. In these stressful times, how do we find solid ground? Photo Credit: Nik Shuliahin

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    It’s Not About the Dress

    July 6, 2018
    Newly married couple holding hands tidbit of advice for married couples

    30 for 30! A Tidbit of Advice for Each Year of Marriage

    May 31, 2021

    Marriage is a Minefield

    May 22, 2022
  • Communication,  Differences

    “Zing-Zing-Zing!”

    August 16, 2020 / No Comments

    Google “conversation basics” and 4 of 5 bullets focus on listening.  Listening is a vital part of conversation, but Great conversation is a balance of both speaking and listening. Photo Credit: Wynand vanPoortvliet MF: When we were dating, Tom’s ability to talk about anything and everything was very attractive.  He is a fabulous storyteller, but sometimes I can’t help but interrupt a long story with an entry line like “Zing-zing-zing!” and then proceed to share a point or clarification. 

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello

    December 3, 2023

    Marriage Manners Matter

    June 17, 2019

    Marriage Magic

    December 16, 2019
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