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3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive
Photo Credit: Estee Janssens We hope this summer found you thriving, with plenty of time in the sun to relax and catch up with family and friends. As these carefree days come to an end, we have some tips to help you continue to thrive. Fall gets busy —
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Anger, Over the Top
Photo Credit: Birgit Lengert We all know anger when we see it — a clenched fist, a raised voice, a sullen look. Anger can quickly surface and is readily expressed, but often it is a cover up for underlying feelings:
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Marriage Manners Matter
Photo Credit: Thought Catalog “Fine!” and “Whatever!” These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt. They send the insensitive message of “I don’t care. Discussion over. Period. Full stop!” As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words. And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline. Those 2 little words are not the focus of this blog.
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Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style
Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF: One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets. “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom. To which he replied “Kon-what?” “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter. Bring on the Joy!”
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Sex on Days Ending in ‘Y’
Photo Credit: Benjaminrobyn Jespersen Lovemaking is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage. Yet there are so many impediments and inhibitions to making love once those wonderful Honeymoon years are over.
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Marriage ScoreCard
Photo Credit: Steve Halama You may have heard marriage described as a 50/50 proposition with each partner contributing 50% to equal the presumed goal of 100%. While marriage is not a game, it is common to judge our effort like contestants in a competition.
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Marriage is a VERB
Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.”
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The Secret Recipe of Intimacy
Photo Credit: Soroush Karimi In our last post we hinted at the complexity of intimacy, especially in the context of forgiveness and healing (1/13/19). Intimacy involves more than sex. In fact sex can sometimes be anything but intimate. Many authors and psychologists speak of at least 4 components to deep and sustained intimacy. They often include emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical intimacy. We like to think of this as the ‘Secret Recipe.’ To achieve this Intimacy we both need to desire and be willing to work towards intimacy.
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Lovemaking in the Context of Healing
A wonderful aspect of our lovemaking is the emotional bonding that is such a gift to our relationship. This intimate bonding can enable healing after conflict and even in the midst of conflict. Lovemaking can be like a dance, one may pursue while the other hesitates. Often I find lovemaking opens me to intimacy while Mary Frances finds she needs to experience intimacy to be open to lovemaking. The “dance” is meeting enough in the middle that this mystery can continue to enrich our marriage.
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Count Down to Christmas — TMI!
The weeks before Christmas can be hectic, creating tension in the best of marriages. We get wrapped up in the craziness of the season and the stress of work and family. The To Do List grows: last minute gifts to purchase and cards to mail, cleaning, baking and one more party to attend. Christmas can become a project that is never done! Thank goodness for deadlines; they can be a godsend.
