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The Power of Gratitude in Marriage
Sharing gratitude for a spouse is the most important predictor of the quality of marriage. This study shows expressing thanks for your partner can protect your marriage from the toxic effects of conflict and hardship. This is true even in the face of financial stress or negative communication patterns. The Many Benefits of Sharing Gratitude Gratitude expresses appreciation for what you have. This is in contrast to constantly reaching for something new hoping it will make you happier. Simply sharing gratitude can lead to increase in physical health and happiness as noted in this study Studies have also shown there are relationship benefits to gratitude such as: In a healthy…
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Tis the Season to Ruin Holidays
As we were making plans with my mom, Taryn (our daughter) and her boyfriend, Kris for Thanksgiving, Taryn said, “Mom, remember when you guys ruined Thanksgiving?” Well, we are here to tell you that Thanksgiving was just one of many holidays that we unintentionally ruined for Taryn. While we could probably share every major holiday that was ruined in some way, we selected our top 3. 3. Thanksgiving: When Taryn was five, she was watching Sesame Street as Chris and I were in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. She came into the kitchen as Chris was pulling the turkey out of the oven to baste. As he did this he said, “Wow, that’s…
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Let’s Talk About Stress
Let’s talk about STRESS. All of us are constantly under some level of stress. The Cleveland Clinic defines stress as, “…a natural human reaction that happens to everyone.” https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/11874-stress They even suggest that stress can be a positive thing. Stress can help our body adjust to new situations, keeps us alert, motivated and ready to avoid danger. How we handle stress, however, can affect our relationship, especially if we handle stress differently from each other. Avoiding the Subject Karen: Like many Americans, Scott and I are experiencing stress around the election. And it does not seem likely that this stress will just go away after the polls close. Watching the…
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Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Last week we were separated by a business trip. We made a point of connecting with each other each day over the phone, but the physical separation and reality of being in two very separate places is always a bit of a struggle for us.
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Patience, Patience, Patience!
“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.” Barbara Johnson Julie: Our daughter-in-law is now 13 days overdue with our first grandchild. We’ve known he was coming since Feb. 9, the news of his upcoming arrival being my best birthday present ever. Looking back now, it seems like an eternity – and I’m not the one carrying him! Patience may be a virtue, but it is certainly not one of mine. This has been the cause of many rifts between John and me over the years.
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The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage
Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the 7 best things we’ve done that have had the biggest impact on our marriage… 1. Love Languages The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.” We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them, but it doesn’t necessarily translate into him/her feeling loved….IF we’re not speaking THEIR language. When we read this short book together and learned to speak each other’s language, it was a game changer for us. To learn more, read: What Language are you Speaking? 2. Finances Get on the Same Page…
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Autumn is Proof that Change is Beautiful
“Autumn is proof that change is beautiful” was a quote we saw at Hobby Lobby last month. I told Tom, I don’t think I would ever use change and beautiful in the same sentence. But this quote has stuck with me like an ear worm.
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3 Ways to Date Your Spouse
Michelle: As a couple, if we do not continue to pursue one another, we could wake up one day to find that we have become roommates. The foundation of our relationship was built on friendship and romance. Here are three easy ways that we have come up with to continue to nourish that foundation. 1. Look for Opportunities to Connect: When we were dating, Chris was constantly calling me, asking me to go grab a drink with him or even simply ride a bike together or take a walk. After we got married and started raising our family, our connections went from intentional time to be together and check in,…
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Knowing and Loving
Back in 1958, a group known as The Teddy Bears recorded the song, “To Know Him is to Love Him.” To Know Him Is To Love Him (youtube.com) It’s kind of a schmaltzy ballad, to be sure, but thinking of the title of the song causes us to wonder: how many of us really know our spouse… really know them…beyond “The Newlywed Game” know them? Do we know their innermost thoughts and feelings, their joys and sorrows, griefs and anxieties, hopes and dreams? The Journal Karen: Many years ago, my parents gave me a diary for my 12th birthday. I filled that little book with all the typical adolescent girl…
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The Music of Us
It never fails. You’re listening to the radio in the car and a song comes on. And it’s THAT song and you can’t help but sing along. The words speak to you, the tune grabs you, and you feel the song all the way down to the depths of your soul.
