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The Spontaneity Spark
Julie John and I are both planners. We make lists and spreadsheets for everything. We research every option before making a decision. We weigh the pros and cons. Spontaneity is not something that comes naturally to either of us as individuals or to us as a couple.
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Little Things
JULIE “Little Things Mean a Lot” was one of my mom’s favorite songs. It starts off like this: “Blow me a kiss from across the roomSay I look nice when I’m notTouch my hair as you pass my chairLittle things mean a lot” These timeless lyrics are spot on – little things DO mean a lot. I do many little things for John throughout the day. I can make John’s coffee. I can scratch his head. I can make his favorite meal for dinner. I can put my phone down and listen when he tells me about his day. All of these are little things that when done with great…
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Married Couples: Are We Too Busy?
We often find our identity in what we accomplish. Our activities and responsibilities can build up until we are crushed beneath them. Are we so busy that we miss out on beauty, relationship, and belonging? Have we become ‘human doings’ rather than ‘human beings.’ It’s hard to grow our marriage if we’re too busy to BE with each other. Busy Families JANINE: If you grew up on a farm like I did, you might remember the ‘breakneck’ pace of harvest or planting time. During those busy days, both Dad and Mom were working intense hours and running on little sleep. This extraordinary pace was for the short-term and my parents knew…
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Love Letters
Julie I recently rediscovered a box of love letters that my parents wrote to each other. My dad had given them to me after my mom died. My dad was drafted into the army when he and my mom were still newlyweds. There was no email, no texting, no Facetime. There was only a brief Sunday phone call and love letters Monday through Saturday. These letters were mostly about details of daily life, but they were also filled with expressions of love and longing to be together again. Their arrival was a daily reminder of their love and the commitment they had made to each other.
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Recreating Your Relationship
JOHN: We just returned from two separate camping trips about a week apart. The first was the annual family camping trip with our young adult kids in the tent with us and 17 members of the extended family on nearby sites. The second was just the two of us. Wow, what a difference! While we love spending 24/7 time with our kids and extended family, we also love the calm and freedom that come with camping as a couple. It reminds us fondly of our early years together.
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Boosting the Bright Side
CHRIS: Michelle has the great responsibility of helping me to see the bright side of things. While I sometimes get frustrated with her eternally rose-colored glasses, I also know that my negative outlook can use some pinkish tint every now and then. Here’s some things we have done to boost my ability to see the bright side.
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More Than a Piece of Paper
A person once said to us (rather cynically), “Marriage is just a piece of paper.” We disagree. Marriage is about two people creating a life together. A marriage doesn’t just touch the two people in it. It touches their families, their friends, their co-workers, and their children. We have to keep our ‘piece of paper’ intact for the sake of the two of us, but also for the world around us.
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