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Making Up is Hard to Do
If you’re married, you’ve experienced conflict with your spouse. It’s inevitable in any relationship. Usually, this happens unintentionally – often over the littlest things. Most conflicts are a result of unmet expectations: I expected “this”, but “that” happened. One, or both of us, ends up feeling disrespected or hurt. Tensions Are Triggers Janine: Years ago, we were expecting company, and I was scurrying around tidying up. Ken asked what he could do to help so I asked him to put away the clean dishes. I then continued dashing around in panic mode because, after all, if the house is a mess our friends might think less of us (especially ME.) 😨 A few minutes went…
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Our Wedding Vows, Revisited
“One thing I am sure of is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” JULIE We were recently privileged to hear these words spoken by our son, and to witness the teary, smiley, enthusiastic YES that was his now-fiancée’s response. OUR SON IS GETTING MARRIED! WE ARE GETTING A NEW DAUGHTER! Our daughter-in-law-to-be wasn’t the only one who was crying. That moment will forever rank as one of the most beautiful, emotional, joy-filled, and exciting moments we’ve ever experienced.
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Love Letters
Julie I recently rediscovered a box of love letters that my parents wrote to each other. My dad had given them to me after my mom died. My dad was drafted into the army when he and my mom were still newlyweds. There was no email, no texting, no Facetime. There was only a brief Sunday phone call and love letters Monday through Saturday. These letters were mostly about details of daily life, but they were also filled with expressions of love and longing to be together again. Their arrival was a daily reminder of their love and the commitment they had made to each other.
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Children, Communication, Conflict, Decision to Love, Forgiveness, Making Decisions, Passion, Romance, Sex
30 for 30! A Tidbit of Advice for Each Year of Marriage
With June just around the corner, it’s time once again for wedding season to begin. Whether you’re just starting your marriage journey or you’ve been on it for decades, couples can always use a piece of great advice – that’s why you’re reading this, right? In honor of our 30th wedding anniversary, we thought we’d pass along 30 for 30 – one tidbit of advice we’ve discovered for each year of marriage:
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The Super-Power of Affirmation
JULIE: I’m not a superhero. While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him. Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.
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8 Ideas to Help Settle Disagreements in Marriage
“I disagree!” “What?!?!” “You don’t understand.” When husbands and wives disagree, things can get tense. We dig in our heels, raise the volume, and let our emotions get the best of us. Arguments can turn into a competition to win (as if anyone every truly “wins” in an argument). Whenever we hear ourselves say, “You always….,” or “You never…,” we know we’re marching down the wrong road. So how can we settle disagreements?
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Can We Have Some Pickles with That Sandwich?
JULIE: It is 7 a.m. and I’m awake before the alarm, mind racing as I go over the mental checklist of what needs to be done today. John is out cold. He is exhausted from the physical and mental demands of the past week of caring for his parents while helping them sort through and pack up a lifetime’s worth of belongings. Now it is moving day, the day they will start their final chapter together in assisted living. The melancholy in the air is stifling.
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Haven’t we had this fight before?
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.
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Intentional Marriage — 50 Ways
“Intentional” is a popular buzzword these days. We are intentional in the workplace, in the way we handle our finances, our fitness routine, and the way we raise and discipline our children. The list goes on and on and for good reason. Intentional means to do something deliberately, consciously or with purpose. It means it didn’t happen on a whim; someone planned for it to happen and persisted until it happened.
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How We Saved Our Failing Marriage
Paul: We just celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary and we’ve never been happier. But it wasn’t always that way. Around year 7 of our marriage, we began to struggle. And we did what so many married couples do – ignored the warning signs telling ourselves things were not that bad. We swept issues between us under the rug and after another 5 years of sweeping there was no more room under the rug! We were just roommates co-existing in the same household each playing our respective roles.
