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The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage
Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the 7 best things we’ve done that have had the biggest impact on our marriage… 1. Love Languages The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.” We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them, but it doesn’t necessarily translate into him/her feeling loved….IF we’re not speaking THEIR language. When we read this short book together and learned to speak each other’s language, it was a game changer for us. To learn more, read: What Language are you Speaking? 2. Finances Get on the Same Page…
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The Drift
Exciting Beginnings We all battle something called “the drift” in marriage. Before we get into that, let’s begin with a happy story. We just attended a wedding. It was so much fun celebrating with the newlywed couple. At the reception, one of the groomsmen spoke about how he noticed a change in his friend (the groom) after the bride and groom met. All of a sudden, this young man was asking for time off from work so he could spend time with the beautiful young woman in his life. He just couldn’t wait to spend time with her. New love is quite a phenomenon, isn’t it? There really are no…
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Taking The Back Roads
Feeling disconnected from your spouse? Just like exploring scenic back roads, carve out "carefree timelessness" for deep conversations. Learn how simple coffee talks can unlock a universe of understanding and strengthen your marriage.
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Celebrate!
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Why Sex Matters in Marriage
For many married couples, physical intimacy gradually decreases over time. Busy schedules, stress, or feelings of guilt or embarrassment can all contribute to a decline in this vital part of a healthy marriage. But what if we told you that prioritizing physical touch isn’t just about pleasure, but about strengthening your marriage and revitalizing your love? Sex matters in marriage. What’s the Big Deal? Janine: For a LONG time, I really didn’t understand how significant and important physical intimacy is. Making love was the last thing on my list of priorities, and I just didn’t understand why it seemed so important to Ken. When you were growing up, did you get the message that sex was…
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Love & Respect
Making generalized statements about men or women can be risky. But there’s one generalization that seems to apply to most of us. A few years ago, we went to a marriage enrichment on the topic of Love & Respect. It was based on a book by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (“Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs”), a New York Times best seller. The premise of this book is that men (in general) need to be respected, while women (in general) need to feel loved. Disagreeing Respectfully JANINE: Eggerichs points out that when a husband feels disrespected, it could just as well be translated as…
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Marriage Role Models
Who are your marriage role models? The number of couples choosing to get married is plummeting. Good solid marriages are less common than they used to be. Maybe YOUR marriage has been a role model for others – or maybe you would like to be. Role Models from Our Childhood Janine: As a kid I was surrounded by solid marriages – my parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents were all in committed marriages. One solid memory that has stuck with me from my childhood was the feeling I had whenever I heard my dad call my mom “Lovey.” When Dad called Mom “Lovey” all was right with the world. His…
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5 Reasons You Need a Getaway Without Kids
This post originally appeared on The Couples Post on Sept. 12, 2021. As we placed linen napkins on our laps for a fancy dinner, we realized life as we knew it was about to change. We were soon going to become parents. We’d enjoyed two wonderful years of marriage and wondered … would this be our last Getaway alone? Why get away without kids? 1. You and Your Marriage need Attention. Raising small humans takes constant attention. We can easily pour all our energy into them. We didn’t want to be strangers after the kids moved out, so we chose to intentionally invest time and energy into our relationship. Read…
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Opposing Perspectives
We can both be in the same room looking at the same situation but have remarkably different responses to whatever is going on. Our perspective can be clouded by many things. You may think you’ve been kind and loving to your spouse – but later find out that they’re feeling lonely or unloved. Your spouse may think they were respectful to you, but you think they were being patronizing or condescending. When it comes down to “he said, she said”, it’s possible that neither of you is seeing everything clearly. How ‘Bout Some Netflix? One of the classic moments from our marriage that demonstrates this was one evening when Ken thought he’d…