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The Benefit of the Doubt
Courtesy of Pixabay via Pexels The image of a pebble dropped into a still pond is a powerful one for many people. It is a visual representation of the idea that one small act can have a “ripple effect.” It can spread out and be carried across the water of our life and the lives of those around us further than we may perceive. Giving the benefit of the doubt can be that pebble in your relationship with your spouse.
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Annual Marriage Tune-Up
A number of years ago, some friends of ours told us about a little trick they use to keep their marriage healthy, strong, and vibrant. Every year, they pledge to attend some kind of marriage enrichment event together. According to our friends, this does not mean weekend getaways to the beach, skiing, or going to a bed and breakfast together.
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“Zing-Zing-Zing!”
Google “conversation basics” and 4 of 5 bullets focus on listening. Listening is a vital part of conversation, but Great conversation is a balance of both speaking and listening. Photo Credit: Wynand vanPoortvliet MF: When we were dating, Tom’s ability to talk about anything and everything was very attractive. He is a fabulous storyteller, but sometimes I can’t help but interrupt a long story with an entry line like “Zing-zing-zing!” and then proceed to share a point or clarification.
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Earning a Time Out
Image by cottonbro via Pexels Marriage requires serious accountability to each other in order to last. This is why we are wary of advice to spend time away from each other as if that alone will improve our relationship. Perfectly valid solo activities can be chosen for the wrong reasons, particularly when the reason is avoiding my spouse.
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Dream a Little Dream With Me
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” Dr. Seuss July 20, 2020. John: What seemed like an ordinary Monday was anything but, all because of the vows we made to each other exactly 29 years prior. As Julie’s brother called to wish us a happy anniversary, he congratulated us and commented that we were “living the dream.” You know what? He was right.
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How to FIX Your Spouse
Photo by Alex Jumper Does your spouse do anything that absolutely drives you nuts? Would you like to know how to “fix” them once and for all? Read on.
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Changing Our Dance and Learning to Love It
Photo Credit: John Gibbons on Unsplash Most of us know someone who thrives on change. They love to spice things up. For them, the most maddening phrase is: “but we’ve always done it this way.” The rest of us find security in knowing what we know, doing what we do well and living within our comfort zone. We recently found ourselves at a crossroads in our lives with our medical practice. The writing on the wall said: “Don’t expect to see a change if you aren’t willing to make one.”
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The Elephant in the Living Room
GIF by Kyle Bridgett via Giphy Sometimes you just have to come out and say it. There’s no point avoiding it. There’s an elephant in the living room.
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Sex-pectations
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” – William Shakespeare We all enter marriage with “sex-pectations” – our ideas of what our sex life will be like. When “we can’t get enough of each other” gradually deteriorates to “not tonight,” we find ourselves feeling disappointed, hurt, even un-loved. BUT…it doesn’t have to stay that way.
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Listening = Love and Respect
Over the years, we’ve heard a great deal about the importance of listening in marriage. This is one of those things that seems simple enough to understand, but for some reason is really hard to do consistently. The simple fact is that attentive listening is a skill and takes practice and determination. Rather than share the ways to become a better listener (you can find that information just about anywhere), we’d like to share with you some reasons why it is important to each of us to be heard.
