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Dear Younger Us
You don’t have to be married long before you look back at your dating days and reminisce. We got married at the ripe young age of 23 and had our first baby shortly thereafter. Our lives changed dramatically in a short time. Looking back, we don’t regret jumping into family life with both feet, but it’s fun to imagine now what we might have to say to us back then.
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Remember When…
It’s easy to get lost in our day-to-day. Once we’re out of the honeymoon phase of marriage and real life settles in, we develop routines and patterns of behavior. We become consumed by the here and now, and sometimes we can lose sight of the excitement and passion that brought us together and inspired us to get married in the first place.
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5 Things Men Want
1. RESPECT: (KEN): When a man is asked, ‘Would you rather be respected or loved?’ most would choose being respected. In his book Love and Respect, Dr. E. Eggerichs explains this tendency. (JANINE): For years, I didn’t appreciate how important it was to Ken that I treat him with respect. I also didn’t understand how hurtful it was when I disrespected him. When I show Ken respect (by affirming his decisions, avoiding sarcasm or by not using a demeaning tone) it translates (for him) into feeling ‘loved.’ Another way to say this is: when a man is disrespected, he receives the message he is NOT loved. 2. SEX:
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Loving Your Way through February
It is said that February is the month for lovers. Having five kids in 10 years, Nick and I spent many years focusing on kid activities for Valentine’s Day. But romance has always been a priority for us, and if February has to be an excuse to be romantic, I say bring it on!
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The Super-Power of Affirmation
JULIE: I’m not a superhero. While I can’t fly faster than a speeding bullet, make myself invisible, or read people’s minds, I CAN harness the super-power of affirmation by telling John the numerous reasons he is special to me or the many traits I admire in him. Never underestimate the super-power of affirmation to build up your spouse and enhance your relationship.
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Tell Her She’s Pretty and Let Him Go Golfing
Kids say the funniest things. But sometimes, the things they say can teach us a thing or two. Our friends Greg and Cecilia have five children between 1 and 11 years old. They asked their four oldest kids to answer some questions about marriage. Here’s what they had to say: Why do people get Married? Because they love each other. Because they kiss each other. How do you know Mom and Dad love each other?
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10 Things Women Want
1) Learn her “Love Language:” And speak it often! (Learn more: What Language Are You Speaking? ) Janine’s love language is “Acts of Service.” So, when I vacuum or do dishes or cook, it fills up her ‘love tank’ – her mood brightens and there’s a whole different vibe between us. I can tell I’ve found a direct path to her heart.
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Annual Marriage Tune-Up
A number of years ago, some friends of ours told us about a little trick they use to keep their marriage healthy, strong, and vibrant. Every year, they pledge to attend some kind of marriage enrichment event together. According to our friends, this does not mean weekend getaways to the beach, skiing, or going to a bed and breakfast together.
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8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life
Why are we writing about sex again? Sex in marriage is more important than most people think. It’s mysterious. There are a lot of “layers” and complexities to this whole topic…. read on…
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Sex-pectations
“Expectation is the root of all heartache.” – William Shakespeare We all enter marriage with “sex-pectations” – our ideas of what our sex life will be like. When “we can’t get enough of each other” gradually deteriorates to “not tonight,” we find ourselves feeling disappointed, hurt, even un-loved. BUT…it doesn’t have to stay that way.
