The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Writing a Focused Love Letter
  • Communication

    Marriage Manners Matter

    June 17, 2019 / 5 Comments

    Photo Credit: Thought Catalog “Fine!” and “Whatever!”  These 2 powerful words have the incredible potential to bring nearly any discussion to a screeching halt.  They send the insensitive message of “I don’t care. Discussion over.  Period. Full stop!”   As married couples, we have probably used these or similar words.  And, if we have raised children we have probably employed time out, taken the car keys or other forms of discipline. Those 2 little words are not  the focus of this blog.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Phones at the Dinner Table

    June 24, 2019

    Be Ready

    July 11, 2022

    Anger, Over the Top

    July 15, 2019
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Tidying Up Your Marriage KonMari Style

    June 10, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Jimmy Ofisia MF:  One rainy spring weekend we came to a new insight about clutter and our marriage  as we set out to deep clean some closets and cabinets.  “A good weekend to KonMari,” I told Tom.  To which he replied “Kon-what?”  “Time to tidy-up and de-clutter.  Bring on the Joy!”

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Verbal Judo – Harmonizing Your Tone of Voice

    September 14, 2025
    World turned upside-down

    The World Turned Upside-Down

    October 13, 2025

    Does He Buy You Avocados

    June 19, 2023
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Finances,  Forgiveness,  Sex

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019 / No Comments

    Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the things that have had the biggest impact on our marriage. 1. The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.”  We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them,

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    Ken and Janine

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    Go Anywhere, Do Anything

    June 9, 2025
    Common marriage mistakes

    Top 10 Tips to Ruin Your Marriage 

    March 23, 2026

    Party Pitfalls

    November 28, 2018
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Forgiveness

    Hurtful Attitudes in Marriage

    May 28, 2019 / No Comments

    Last weekend we stumbled across something that made us stop and re-evaluate our attitude. Sometimes our attitude comes across as a superiority – like when we believe we possess qualities or traits that our spouse doesn’t and become condescending – and this hurts our relationship. By “qualities” and “traits” we mean things such as: generosity, patience, understanding, compassion. Perhaps a couple of examples would help.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    3 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage

    August 5, 2019

    Tone of Voice

    July 16, 2018

    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Perseverance,  Stress

    Unmet Needs

    May 21, 2019 / No Comments

    We’ve been extra busy lately – on weekends and weekdays alike.  With everything that we committed to, there just hasn’t been much time for fun or relaxation. 

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    Mark and Mel

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    Marriage is a Minefield

    May 22, 2022

    Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say

    August 13, 2023

    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019
  • Sex

    Sex on Days Ending in ‘Y’

    May 13, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Benjaminrobyn Jespersen Lovemaking is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage.  Yet there are so many impediments and inhibitions to making love once those wonderful Honeymoon years are over.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    7 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life

    July 8, 2019

    Taking the Easy Road

    June 7, 2021

    Quarantine Romance

    April 27, 2020
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Time

    Married Singles

    May 6, 2019 / No Comments

    How do you find the right balance of couple time versus individual time? Sports, times with friends/co-workers, Facebook/Pinterest, hunting….  There are a lot of fun activities that can keep us busy – and distracted.  None of these activities are bad or wrong in themselves.  But… do they draw us slowly away from our spouse?

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    Ken and Janine

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    Removing the Invisibility Cloak

    October 23, 2023

    3 Tips to Make Your Marriage Thrive

    August 20, 2019

    Time for a Marriage Getaway? “Here’s Yer Sign”

    October 28, 2019
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Perseverance

    Marriage Takes Work – What Does That Mean Anyway?

    April 26, 2019 / No Comments

    We’ve heard cliché’s like “marriage takes work,” “communication is the key” and “love unconditionally.” What do they really mean? How do they play out in married life?

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    5 Things Men Want

    March 1, 2021
    Stones perfectly balanced against a background of the ocean

    Us Against the World

    August 22, 2021

    Not All Habits Are Bad

    April 10, 2022
  • Communication,  Differences

    In Sickness and In Health

    April 15, 2019 / No Comments

    I (Mel) used to feel irritated and isolated when Mark was sick, as he’d clam up and shut down.  In addition to the daily care of our kids, pets, and household, it seemed to me that I had an additional child to care for.  I felt burdened by the extra work of caring for Mark, and I wore myself down caring for everyone else.  Yet, when I was sick, I was expected to continue in my usual role and take care of myself.  How fair was that?

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    Mark and Mel

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    A Love That Surprises and Remembers

    February 10, 2020

    Anger, Over the Top

    July 15, 2019

    Annual Marriage Tune-Up

    August 23, 2020
  • Communication,  Conflict,  Decision to Love

    Marriage ScoreCard

    April 8, 2019 / 2 Comments

    Photo Credit: Steve Halama You may have heard marriage described as a 50/50 proposition with each partner contributing 50% to equal the presumed goal of 100%.  While marriage is not a game, it is common to judge our effort like contestants in a competition.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    The Elf on the Shelf

    December 21, 2020

    A Love That Surprises and Remembers

    February 10, 2020
    signs pointing various directions

    Choose Your Hard

    October 10, 2022
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