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Tis the Season to Ruin Holidays
As we were making plans with my mom, Taryn (our daughter) and her boyfriend, Kris for Thanksgiving, Taryn said, “Mom, remember when you guys ruined Thanksgiving?” Well, we are here to tell you that Thanksgiving was just one of many holidays that we unintentionally ruined for Taryn. While we could probably share every major holiday that was ruined in some way, we selected our top 3. 3. Thanksgiving: When Taryn was five, she was watching Sesame Street as Chris and I were in the kitchen preparing Thanksgiving dinner. She came into the kitchen as Chris was pulling the turkey out of the oven to baste. As he did this he said, “Wow, that’s…
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3 Ways to Date Your Spouse
Michelle: As a couple, if we do not continue to pursue one another, we could wake up one day to find that we have become roommates. The foundation of our relationship was built on friendship and romance. Here are three easy ways that we have come up with to continue to nourish that foundation. 1. Look for Opportunities to Connect: When we were dating, Chris was constantly calling me, asking me to go grab a drink with him or even simply ride a bike together or take a walk. After we got married and started raising our family, our connections went from intentional time to be together and check in,…
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Control in This Thing Called Life
Chris: Stuff happens… and, when I think about all the stuff that could or probably will happen to me on any given day, I am reminded of the lyrics from an 80’s Prince classic, “Let’s Go Crazy”. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” While there are many opinions about Prince songs, this line seems to be spot on with our goal as humans-let’s make it through today. But here’s a question…when stuff happens, how do you react? Do you freeze, freak out or bury your head? Or do you do some other variation of unproductive coping mechanisms that hijacks your logical brain, making you unable to problem…
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Removing the Invisibility Cloak
Chris: When we first moved to Arizona from Oklahoma, I went from an on-site job, to working from home. My being home meant that my “honey-do” list grew, because my wife thought my lack of travel to an office could afford me plenty of time to complete all kinds of projects. Michelle: After a couple of years of living in Arizona, less and less items were being checked off my list. Then, one evening, I came home to find none of my list accomplished. I was frustrated. I remember wondering how he could be home all day and not do any of the items on my list. That evening, we had a conversation that…
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$#*! My Spouse Says
Chris: Because Michelle and I frequently commute from Tucson to Phoenix, we try to find stand-up comedians or funny books to listen to, to help pass the time. Recently, on one of those commutes, we began listening to the book. Sh*t My Dad Says, by Justin Halpern. While, we both heard our own fathers in many of Justin’s examples, we almost simultaneously said, “Wow I bet we could write a post about the $#*! you say.” While we realized we actually had enough material for a book, we are going to limit it to two examples. Michelle: When we were first married, Chris and I liked to ride our bikes…
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Marriage Wake-Up Calls
Chris: Many couples see the old couple, sitting on the park bench, still holding hands and wonder, how did they stay together after all this time. Michelle and I have thought, “Can we, the middle-aged couple, be an inspiration for someone? Does being married for only a couple of decades count?” While we are unsure of how inspiring we are, we have had a few wake-up calls in our relationship that we will share. The first wake-up call was our unmatched expectations. When we got married, we both brought marriage views based on our imaginations, our parents, movies, society, etc. My mom cooked, cleaned and rarely declined doing something for my dad. When we got…
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Why Go It Alone
Michelle: When our daughter was three, she and I were walking out of Target. Before we walked out the door, I asked her to put her coat on. As I was putting my own coat on, I noticed that she was putting her coat on upside down. I bent down to try to help her when she yelled the inevitable three-year-old battle cry, “I can do it myself.” For approximately five minutes, I watched as she wriggled out of the coat, struggled because the sleeves were then inside out, finally getting the coat on correctly and proudly exclaiming, “See, I told you!” How many times have we all struggled, knowing…
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Smiling is a Superpower
Michelle: I think that at some point in every person’s life, they dream about what kind of superhero they might be and what powers they might have. When I was a child, I wasn’t sure what my costume would look like or my catchphrase might be, but when I envisioned myself striking that superhero pose, I was there to turn frowns upside-down! A few years ago, I went to a laughter therapy seminar. During this seminar, the presenter shared that there have been multiple studies regarding smiling and success. In one such study, scientists conducted research over a thirty-year period. They reviewed five hundred student’s yearbook photos and, measuring just the student’s smile, were able…
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Speaking In Code
Michelle: When our daughter was four, she got out of the car, walked in the house and promptly asked me what a HUHA was. I wasn’t sure what she meant so I asked her where she had heard it. She said that someone cut them off in traffic and that her daddy yelled out the word. I mumbled something about it meaning a bad driver although I had figured out that it was Head Up His/Her As$. Chris: As Taryn got older, we went from spelling out S-A-N-T-A, to non-verbal cues like head nods towards an item or saying something like, “I bet Santa could bring something like this.” As…
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We Are More Than a Single Story
Michelle: Recently for work, we watched a TED talk titled, “The Danger of a Single Story”. The presenter, a Nigerian author, shared that she left Nigeria as a 19-year-old, to attend a university in the United States. Her roommate knew, before they met, her age and where she was from. When they met for the first time, her surprised roommate asked her where she learned to speak English so well. She responded, “Well, English is the official language of Nigeria.” Her roommate also asked her if she had any recordings of the tribal music that they listen to. The author shared that she tremendously disappointed her roommate when she produced a tape of Mariah Carey. Her roommate had…
