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Emotional Baggage
Chris: Recently, while returning home from a trip, the wheel of our suitcase broke. It was the last leg of the trip and both of us looked at our suitcase like it had failed us in some way. We were tired from traveling all day and the last thing we wanted to do was have to switch back and forth, carrying a broken suitcase through the airport. So, in that moment, the easiest thing to do was to blame the suitcase for being faulty. We both had convinced ourselves that it was a bad suitcase and how could the company put out something so awful. Never mind that we had…
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Are We Scrolling by Our Relationship? (Repost)
The convenience our smartphones provide has come at a cost that we all feel. We see it when we’re out in public, with people staring at their phones rather than paying attention to their loved ones. One way of recognizing the problem with this comes from Drs. John and Julie Gottman – identifying how we make “bids” for attention from our partners. Paying attention to our cell phones makes it likely we’ll miss those bids and end up hurting each other.
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The Grace of Healing
Chris: Recently, Michelle’s boss gave her a surprise day off work. Michelle assumed, that because I work from home, I would be willing to drop what I was doing and, in her words, “go on a fun road trip together”. When Michelle presented me with the idea, her enthusiasm and excitement frustrated me. I was so annoyed about her, “fun adventure” that after she finished saying what we could do, I crossed my arms and snapped, “Oh sure Michelle. My work is insignificant. Let me drop everything I have planned today so that I can cater to your whims.” Unfortunately, I did not stop there. I decided in that moment,…
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Practice What You Preach
Michelle: One day our daughter Taryn came home from school and said, “The word practice is really confusing.” It can mean to work at something to gain skill, like when I practice my different tumbling passes at cheer. But it can also mean to be a professional at something. Like a doctor has a medical practice.” Chris: Taryn’s confusion about the word ‘practice’ really made me think. I responded, “It can also mean to carry out or do something-like practice what you preach.” Why is it important to practice what we preach? People should be attracted by our light in the way we live and in the words we speak. …
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Control in This Thing Called Life
Chris: Stuff happens… and, when I think about all the stuff that could or probably will happen to me on any given day, I am reminded of the lyrics from an 80’s Prince classic, “Let’s Go Crazy”. “Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.” While there are many opinions about Prince songs, this line seems to be spot on with our goal as humans-let’s make it through today. But here’s a question…when stuff happens, how do you react? Do you freeze, freak out or bury your head? Or do you do some other variation of unproductive coping mechanisms that hijacks your logical brain, making you unable to problem…
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Are We Scrolling by Our Relationship?
The convenience our smartphones provide has come at a cost that we all feel. We see it when we’re out in public, with people staring at their phones rather than paying attention to their loved ones. One way of recognizing the problem with this comes from Drs. John and Julie Gottman – identifying how we make “bids” for attention from our partners. Paying attention to our cell phones makes it likely we’ll miss those bids and end up hurting each other.
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Get Real!
How does one describe a Journey without talking about the people who walk with you and influence your passage through life. Fr. Tom Ogg was one such companion and his message to “Get Real!” has been emblazoned on our hearts.
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Does Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?
This past week we had to spend time apart as Jen traveled cross-country to spend some time helping her sister. When we spend time apart, there is a natural distance between us. Time apart can put a strain on our relationship. It is the combination of not being together, combined with the stress of travel on the one away and the stress of holding down the fort on the one who stays at home.
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Marriage Wake-Up Calls
Chris: Many couples see the old couple, sitting on the park bench, still holding hands and wonder, how did they stay together after all this time. Michelle and I have thought, “Can we, the middle-aged couple, be an inspiration for someone? Does being married for only a couple of decades count?” While we are unsure of how inspiring we are, we have had a few wake-up calls in our relationship that we will share. The first wake-up call was our unmatched expectations. When we got married, we both brought marriage views based on our imaginations, our parents, movies, society, etc. My mom cooked, cleaned and rarely declined doing something for my dad. When we got…
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Old Habits Die Hard
Have you ever fallen into this trap? You have a small disconnect that builds over time and turns into a huge disconnect that takes a lot of work to sort through, but you get through it. Then some time down the road, you start to fall back into whatever habit it was that disconnected you. You realize it and work through it again, but you’re kicking yourself for falling into the same trap. And you think to yourself, ‘why didn’t I learn the lesson the first time?’ Disconnection Jen: We had a disconnect of this sort this past week. I fell into an old habit of bottling up my frustration…
