The Couples Post

Support for married couples, by married couples.

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  • About
  • Date Night Ideas
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover

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  • 20 Ways to Become a More Patient Spouse this Week
  • 25 Conversation Starter Questions on Sexuality
  • 50 Questions to ask your spouse besides “How was your day?”
  • 50 Ways to Engage Kids on a Budget
  • 50 Ways to Love Your Lover
  • About
  • At Home Dating
  • BAILEY’S TREE
  • Barriers to Forgiveness and Healing
  • Confronting for the Sake of Our Relationship
  • Conversation Starters
  • Date Night Ideas
  • Dialogue
  • Double Chocolate Brownies
  • Emotional Bank Account
  • Feelings Reflect Who I am as a Unique Individual
  • Four Basic Psychological Needs
  • How to Foster Teamwork – A Starter List
  • In Memory of Fr. Tom Ogg
  • Let’s Talk about Sex
  • Making Decisions as a Couple – 10 Steps
  • Marriage Check-up Exercise
  • Our Family Commandments
  • Phones at the Dinner Table Discussion Questions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Re-Evaluation
  • Stress vs. Burnout and Depression
  • The Power of Positive: Examples of Converting Negatives about our Relationship to Positives
  • There’s Always Something More to Talk About
  • Worldwide Marriage Encounter Experience
  • Passion,  Romance,  Sex

    Come On, Baby, Light My Fire

    January 28, 2020 / No Comments

    Photo by Katie Salerno from Pexels One reason married couples end up together is because there is a physical attraction between them. Some call it chemistry. There are times when we can’t keep our hands off each other.  We make any excuse to be close, to be intimate.

    Read More
    Nick and Jen

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    Positive advice on a napkin

    Sex — Naughty or Nice?

    June 27, 2021
    weighing planned versus spontaneity

    The Spontaneity Spark

    May 16, 2022
    Woman and Man with mischievous smiles, looking at each other as they peek out from under a blanket.

    7 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life

    March 28, 2022
  • Romance,  Sex

    7 Tips to Improve Your Sex Life

    July 8, 2019 / 1 Comment

    Is sex a priority in your marriage? Sexuality is an important ingredient for a healthy marriage. Here are 7 tips to help….

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    Ken and Janine

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    Great Sex!

    August 6, 2018

    What is Sexy?

    September 6, 2018

    Come On, Baby, Light My Fire

    January 28, 2020
  • Communication,  Decision to Love,  Finances,  Forgiveness,  Sex

    The 7 Best Things We’ve Done for Our Marriage

    June 3, 2019 / No Comments

    Here’s our ‘Short List’ of the things that have had the biggest impact on our marriage. 1. The 5 Love Languages – In this book, Dr Gary Chapman explains there are 5 basic love languages and we each have a primary “language.”  We might be knocking ourselves out trying to show our spouse we love them,

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    Ken and Janine

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    When In Doubt, Just Get Naked

    April 21, 2024

    Overcoming Apathy in our Marriage

    October 12, 2020

    Forgiveness & Healing

    August 13, 2018
  • Sex

    Sex on Days Ending in ‘Y’

    May 13, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Benjaminrobyn Jespersen Lovemaking is one of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage.  Yet there are so many impediments and inhibitions to making love once those wonderful Honeymoon years are over.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    8 Misunderstandings That Are Hurting Your Sex Life

    July 19, 2020

    The Secret Recipe of Intimacy

    February 11, 2019
    Newly married couple holding hands tidbit of advice for married couples

    30 for 30! A Tidbit of Advice for Each Year of Marriage

    May 31, 2021
  • Decision to Love,  Romance,  Sex

    The Secret Recipe of Intimacy

    February 11, 2019 / No Comments

    Photo Credit: Soroush Karimi In our last post we hinted at the complexity of intimacy, especially in the context of forgiveness and healing (1/13/19).  Intimacy involves more than sex.  In fact sex can sometimes be anything but intimate. Many authors and psychologists speak of at least 4 components to deep and sustained intimacy.  They often include emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical intimacy.  We like to think of this as the ‘Secret Recipe.’ To achieve this Intimacy we both need to desire and be willing to work towards intimacy.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    When All Else Fails . . . Eat Ice Cream

    February 15, 2021

    Does He Buy You Avocados

    June 19, 2023

    Our Anti-Resolutions List

    January 3, 2022
  • Communication,  Romance,  Sex

    Play’s The Thing!

    January 26, 2019 / No Comments

    Paul: Anyone who knows us, knows that we’re not going to go down in history for our sense of spontaneity and silliness. We’re serious people. But some years ago good friends of ours encouraged us to take a break from the consistent seriousness and make time for play. They said playfulness in our marriage can help us keep some perspective when the trials of daily life get us down.

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    Paul and Stephanie

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    Love’s Sweet Spot

    March 9, 2020
    super-power of affirmation

    The Super-Power of Affirmation

    February 26, 2024
    writing a letter about what I love about you Just. Do. It.

    Just. Do. It.

    October 9, 2023
  • Conflict,  Decision to Love,  Sex

    Lovemaking in the Context of Healing

    January 15, 2019 / No Comments

    A wonderful aspect of our lovemaking is the emotional bonding that is such a gift to our relationship. This intimate bonding can enable healing after conflict and even in the midst of conflict.  Lovemaking can be like a dance, one may pursue while the other hesitates.  Often I find lovemaking opens me to intimacy while Mary Frances finds she needs to experience intimacy to be open to lovemaking.  The “dance” is meeting enough in the middle that this mystery can continue to enrich our marriage.

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    Tom and Mary Frances

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    Uh Oh, I Really Stepped In It Now

    February 16, 2025
    Being right

    Is “Being Right” Really Right?

    March 20, 2023

    How We Saved Our Failing Marriage

    September 9, 2019
  • Communication,  Romance,  Sex

    What is Sexy?

    September 6, 2018 / 2 Comments

    We have been married for over 24 years and our attraction to each other is as strong as ever.  So, we asked ourselves what has been our secret to lasting passion in our marriage?  Sex appeal can be very subjective.  What is sexy to one is  not to another.  How do we navigate these preferences within our marriage?  What can we do to make sure our marital sexual relationship is filled with blazing passion that lasts?  If you are on the edge of your seat waiting for the answer, you are in for a treat.

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    Mark and Mel

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    Radical non-Parenting

    November 9, 2020

    I Can’t Change My Spouse

    August 7, 2022

    Marriage ScoreCard

    April 8, 2019
  • Decision to Love,  Romance,  Sex

    Great Sex!

    August 6, 2018 / 1 Comment

    Photo by ijeab / Freepik Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”

    Read More
    Ken and Janine

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    Making Up is Hard to Do

    June 21, 2018

    The 5 “P’s” of Constructive Feedback

    March 29, 2021

    Scorekeeping in Marriage

    December 8, 2019
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