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Rule #1 for Resolving Conflict
Paul: With our child rearing days behind us, I figured any potential conflict surrounding child rearing was over too. Boy was I mistaken. We took our 3 year old granddaughter with us to the beach for two weeks so she wouldn’t have to be in day care. While we were both looking forward to some quality time with her, I cringed when Stephanie suggested that we run point on potty training her. That’s when the trouble began. My attitude was, “Why do we have do this?” But instead of speaking up, I kept silent.
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Stale Crackers
It first struck us when we had to throw away all the crackers in the pantry because they were past their expiration date – it’s been a very, very long time since we’ve entertained a group of friends at home. We usually don’t eat crackers, but we do like to entertain people who might, especially if there are cracker toppings and wine involved. Throwing crackers away was a sad reminder of all the gatherings we would have had but didn’t because of COVID.
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Can We Have Some Pickles with That Sandwich?
JULIE: It is 7 a.m. and I’m awake before the alarm, mind racing as I go over the mental checklist of what needs to be done today. John is out cold. He is exhausted from the physical and mental demands of the past week of caring for his parents while helping them sort through and pack up a lifetime’s worth of belongings. Now it is moving day, the day they will start their final chapter together in assisted living. The melancholy in the air is stifling.
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I Could Use Some Help!
You may have heard the analogy that men are like waffles, women like spaghetti. Neuroscientists have found that typically the male brain focuses on one thing at a time while females tend to mentally juggle multiple thoughts. For example, when a man is doing the dishes, he’s thinking about…the dishes. When a woman is doing the dishes, she might be thinking about the grocery list, that salad for the picnic on Saturday, the dentist appointment tomorrow, and that she needs to call her parents to see how they’re doing. All this mental and emotional work is invisible, but it can be exhausting.
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Got Stress?
Photo above courtesy of Matteo Vistocco on Unsplash While writing a check for a major expense recently, Mel said, “You seem agitated.” to which Mark replied, “This is a lot of money!” Mel’s light-hearted response was, “They’re only numbers.” Mark paused, and then laughed, “Yet another example of how we are completely opposite.” And we smiled at each other.
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7 Strategies for Coping with Crisis
Ken: For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad… that’s what we signed up for. But when difficulties arise it’s hard to recall the passion we had on our wedding day. If you’re going through hard times right now, how do you find your way through?
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Haven’t we had this fight before?
Photo by Vera Arsic from Pexels Jen: Life, kids, work and extra-curricular activities suck up so much of our energy each day, that when it comes to interacting with each other, we are often at the end of our rope. When we are having a disagreement we’ve had more than once, I feel worn down and don’t want to deal with it.
