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What Happened to the Person I Married?
After starting out so in love with my spouse, how is it that I sometimes find him/her so annoying and hard to live with? What happened to the person I married?
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Marriage Magic
Photo Credit: Jared Lind on Unsplash As we become immersed in this holiday season we are drawn to the magic. Recall the wonder and awe of your childhood, reindeers that fly and a Santa who made dreams come true. Fast-forward several decades. Remember the rush of feelings when you knew your spouse was ‘the one‘. You reveled in discovering this person who showered you with love and support.
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Scorekeeping in Marriage
“Scorekeeping” in our marriage can lead to resentment. It starts with an attitude of “I deserve more” where we keep a tally of all the things we do for our spouse. “I did the laundry so he should do the dishes.” This is compounded by the fact that men and women keep score differently.
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Time for a Marriage Getaway? “Here’s Yer Sign”
You proposed. She accepted. White dress, wedding bells. New house, new bills. Kids. Jobs. TV. Internet. Full calendar. What happened? What’s next? Photo by Alyssa Ledesma on Unsplash We thought our marriage was “fine” but we were focused on running from one kid’s sports to the next kid’s music lessons. There wasn’t time for those long talks about our future. Even though we thought the honeymoon would last forever…it didn’t. We were more focused on the kids than on each other. As the romance faded, we gradually became more aware of each others’ flaws. We lost sight of who WE were as a couple.
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Intentional Marriage — 50 Ways
“Intentional” is a popular buzzword these days. We are intentional in the workplace, in the way we handle our finances, our fitness routine, and the way we raise and discipline our children. The list goes on and on and for good reason. Intentional means to do something deliberately, consciously or with purpose. It means it didn’t happen on a whim; someone planned for it to happen and persisted until it happened.
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The Happiest Place on Earth – NOT (this time)
We recently went to Disneyland with our adult daughter and our 2 year old granddaughter. All three adults had high hopes for a fun-filled family time at the “happiest” place on earth. When naysayers told us we were crazy for taking a two year old to Disneyland, we scoffed at them. We’ve been there, done this before. But we hadn’t been there, done that with a toddler. The crowds, a cranky toddler, and plenty of unmet expectations led to a communication breakdown that was a debacle for all of us. None of us ended up having much fun and we left a day early.
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Ugh, Mom and Dad, no PDA!
Nick: Call it a “sixth sense,” but I can tell when my kids’ eyes are on Jen and me. I can practically hear their eyes rolling whenever we touch each other.
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How We Saved Our Failing Marriage
Paul: We just celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary and we’ve never been happier. But it wasn’t always that way. Around year 7 of our marriage, we began to struggle. And we did what so many married couples do – ignored the warning signs telling ourselves things were not that bad. We swept issues between us under the rug and after another 5 years of sweeping there was no more room under the rug! We were just roommates co-existing in the same household each playing our respective roles.
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Dancing in the Kitchen
Janine: This weekend we celebrated our 29th Wedding Anniversary! Yay! Ken was on call for work, so we couldn’t go far, and we didn’t want to try to go out for a nice meal, for fear that it might be interrupted. Here’s what we DID do.
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Anger, Over the Top
Photo Credit: Birgit Lengert We all know anger when we see it — a clenched fist, a raised voice, a sullen look. Anger can quickly surface and is readily expressed, but often it is a cover up for underlying feelings:
