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Lovemaking in the Context of Healing
A wonderful aspect of our lovemaking is the emotional bonding that is such a gift to our relationship. This intimate bonding can enable healing after conflict and even in the midst of conflict. Lovemaking can be like a dance, one may pursue while the other hesitates. Often I find lovemaking opens me to intimacy while Mary Frances finds she needs to experience intimacy to be open to lovemaking. The “dance” is meeting enough in the middle that this mystery can continue to enrich our marriage.
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Count Down to Christmas — TMI!
The weeks before Christmas can be hectic, creating tension in the best of marriages. We get wrapped up in the craziness of the season and the stress of work and family. The To Do List grows: last minute gifts to purchase and cards to mail, cleaning, baking and one more party to attend. Christmas can become a project that is never done! Thank goodness for deadlines; they can be a godsend.
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Assume Positive Intent
I (Mark) can be pessimistic at times and it seems natural for me to assume negative intent. I prefer to look at all angles and outcomes, with emphasis on worst case scenarios. An example was when Mel forgot to text me when her plane landed as she was going to visit her mom in Phoenix. I judged that she didn’t care as much about me as she did for her mom. When Mel finally did call and tried to share her excitement about being with her mom, I quickly squelched her excitement with my accusatory tone and cutting words.
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Opposites Attract?
While out for dinner recently, we placed our order with the server and once again said, “Opposites attract!” Mark enjoyed meat and potatoes with a glass of sweet white wine, and Mel had fish with a dry red wine. We remarked on how opposite our orders were and reminisced about our differences and how they have impacted our marriage.
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Leave & Cleave
Leave & Cleave(adapted from “The Art of Marriage” video series) Most married couples have heard that we must “leave our fathers and mothers and cling to our spouse.” While it’s not easy, it is necessary.
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Moving – Marriage Tester or Marriage Bester
For the fifth time in our 32 year marriage, we recently packed up our belongings to move to another home. This time, it was to obtain a bit more space for our adult daughter (a single mother) and our 10 month old granddaughter to live with us. While we were perfectly content after having downsized 10 years ago into a smaller space, we found ourselves needing to upsize again. Of course, none of this was in our “plan,” but that’s the way life goes sometimes isn’t it?
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Empathy, Is It Contagious? For You Baby…
Destination Weddings are a trend. Mary Frances and I attended one on the Mexican Riviera that was wonderful. It is ironic though to plan and celebrate a wedding as a destination when marriage, like graduation is the commencement of a life-long journey.
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Great Sex!
Photo by ijeab / Freepik Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”
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It’s Not About the Dress
The wedding venue, the dress, the flowers, the photographer…when did all this get to be so important?
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Making Up is Hard to Do
Every married couple has conflicts- sometimes over the littlest things. Most conflicts are a result of our unmet expectations– I expected this, but instead that happened. We begin to feel hurt or disappointed. We begin to think we’re disrespected or that we’re unloved.
