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The Secret Recipe of Intimacy
Photo Credit: Soroush Karimi In our last post we hinted at the complexity of intimacy, especially in the context of forgiveness and healing (1/13/19). Intimacy involves more than sex. In fact sex can sometimes be anything but intimate. Many authors and psychologists speak of at least 4 components to deep and sustained intimacy. They often include emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical intimacy. We like to think of this as the ‘Secret Recipe.’ To achieve this Intimacy we both need to desire and be willing to work towards intimacy.
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Play’s The Thing!
Paul: Anyone who knows us, knows that we’re not going to go down in history for our sense of spontaneity and silliness. We’re serious people. But some years ago good friends of ours encouraged us to take a break from the consistent seriousness and make time for play. They said playfulness in our marriage can help us keep some perspective when the trials of daily life get us down.
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Date Nights
In July we wrote a post on Romance, simple and spontaneous. We described it as a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love and remoteness from every day life and promised a post on dating. One of our favorite quotes from Mignon McLaughlin, author and journalist is: “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” This is why “Date Nights” are so important. They take us back to why we fell in love all over again. Everyday “Romance” makes us crave those “Date Nights.” We have found both to be important in our 38 plus years of marriage.
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What is Sexy?
We have been married for over 24 years and our attraction to each other is as strong as ever. So, we asked ourselves what has been our secret to lasting passion in our marriage? Sex appeal can be very subjective. What is sexy to one is not to another. How do we navigate these preferences within our marriage? What can we do to make sure our marital sexual relationship is filled with blazing passion that lasts? If you are on the edge of your seat waiting for the answer, you are in for a treat.
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Great Sex!
Photo by ijeab / Freepik Sex between a married couple is not only good, it’s very good. If you read the research and surveys, you will find that married couples experience better and more frequent sex than non-married couples. Married couples are healthier, happier, and live longer. When we went on a WorldWide Marriage Encounter weekend, we were more than a little surprised when a priest told us that our love-making is good, is important for us, and is important to the world. He encouraged us to “make mad passionate love!”
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What Makes a Good Gift?
Our youngest child graduated from high school this spring, and our gift to him was a grad party. Grad parties are a big deal where we live – white tents, catered food, a fancy cake, and a display of photos of the graduate growing up. And, of course, that pretty box for guests to place their cards!
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I Will ROMANCE You Every Day of My Life
Ahh, Romance! You may be thinking wine, roses, candle light dinners and such. Every day would get pretty expensive. Let’s call that dating — more about that in another post. Dating involves an invitation — that is half the fun. Romance is simple and spontaneous.
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It’s Not About the Dress
The wedding venue, the dress, the flowers, the photographer…when did all this get to be so important?
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The Grass is Greener . . . Where You Water It
The Grass is Greener… I love the quote “The grass is greener where you water it.” It is especially appropriate this time of year when Wyoming is lush and green. I love the smell of lilacs and the wet earth as everything comes back to life after an incredibly long winter. It’s rhubarb and asparagus season and I can’t wait to see the green shoots pop their little heads above the soil. I enjoy looking over the fence to sneak a peek at the neighbor’s garden and kibbutz about garden plans. Tulips and daffodils are in full bloom and life couldn’t be better.
