Taking the Easy Road

Marriage is hard work. Sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be. That’s why this week, we’re going to suggest a way to take the easy road.

How might you take the easy road? Simple – look for the little things you can do for your spouse and just do them. This is easy when they’re things you already want to do. But to up the game, try to focus on the ones that you know they care about the most but perhaps you’re just not excited about doing.

He Takes the Easy Road

Nick: For example, I know it can wreck Jen’s whole day if she comes down in the morning to a disaster in the kitchen. I’d be lying to you if I said I love doing the dishes, but I also don’t mind doing them either. So if I see the dishes not done and I do them, this is an easy win – easy for me, bigger for Jen.

Another example might be something like giving her a foot rub at the end of the day. It helps Jen to relax and it’s not too much trouble for me. It also raises the chance I’m going to connect with her more intimately later on or the next day. Easy for me, bigger deal for Jen. That’s the spirit.

She Takes the Easy Road

Jen: An easy road for me is with our cats and the morning routine. Nick gets up earlier than I do most mornings to get ready for work. As soon as his alarm goes off, our cats think it’s breakfast time and start meowing. Nick gets their breakfast on weekdays, but on the weekend when we don’t set the alarm and the kitties get up anyway, I feed them to let Nick sleep in a bit. As much as I enjoy sleeping in, I recognize that I am a morning person, and that little bit of sleeping in is easy for me, bigger for Nick.

Another example is in the area of physical attention. I can easily settle into bed at night and go to sleep. Nick is a night person and has a harder time settling his mind at night, especially if it has been a busy or complicated day. If I work at spending time with him in the evening talking, watching a show, or inviting him to something more intimate 😉, it helps him fall asleep more easily and peacefully. This doesn’t require that much extra from me, but it can have a huge impact on him. Easy for me, bigger for Nick.

The Easy Road Challenge

The easy things are a simple gift you can give to each other. What is the easy road for you that may be bumpier for your spouse? Are you attuned to their potholes? We think that if you work at making the ride easier for your spouse, you will both enjoy the journey more.