Running Up A Downward Escalator 

Ken: Last week we were making our way through the airport with our carry-on bags.  As we started down an escalator, I suddenly remembered I left my phone lying in the bathroom at the top of the escalator. In that split second, my only thought was that someone would find it and snatch it.  Not today! I turned around with my suitcase, pushed Janine aside as I started trying to run up those steps that were propelling us downward. I fell near the top step but bounced up quickly. With a heroic leap, like a running back jumping into the end-zone, I made it to the top bruised but victorious. The wide-eyed onlookers asked if I was okay, wondering “what’s up with this guy”? 

Janine:  One minute we were casually riding down the escalator.  Then before I could blink, Ken gasped some unintelligible words, and somehow vaulted past me towards the top of the escalator.  I didn’t know what he was doing or why.  It was like a scene from a comedy film.  There were a jumble of legs and suitcases and feet and onlookers with their eyes wide open.  Thankfully, I was the only one between Ken and the top of the escalator.  I still don’t know how he managed to scurry past me.   

By the time I got to the bottom, I had a pretty good idea of what had happened.  I stood waiting for less than a minute, and Ken appeared on the escalator once more.  He had retrieved his phone, and all was well. 

The Drift

Marriage can be like riding a downward escalator – but if we’re standing still, we’re losing ground. That passive approach just carries us to the bottom (and we can lose more than our phone). It’s not the same for every marriage – for some it might be like needing to crawl out of a hole. Because we’re busy and distracted, we don’t notice how much ground we’re losing. It’s common for couples to find ourselves in a bad spot and have no idea how we got there. By the time we notice, there’s a lot of climbing to do to get ourselves out of that hole. 

In thinking of how to strengthen your marriage, there is a need to be intentional about working on “us” even though it might be like running up the down escalator.  

Teamwork

You’ve heard from The Couples Post previously about the need to be pro-active (see Annual Marriage Tune-up and  Intentional Marriage – 50 Ways). One practical example that has made a positive difference for us is to approach things as a team, especially making our to-do list and discussing priorities each day (read more in Teamwork). 

Re-evaluation

We can’t just put our marriage on autopilot and hope things go well. Even though it may sometimes involve a bruise or an awkward look from someone else, we need to identify our own need to run up the downward moving escalator of life. 

We can all benefit from taking an honest look at our marriage. Are we growing, holding ground, or sinking?  

If you’re wondering what you might do to make that first intentional step up the escalator, ask your spouse how they’re feeling about the state of your marriage.   

Here’s a couple helpful posts to get you started:  

Time-Out! (Finding ways to increase the love and romance in your marriage) 

Ready for a Marriage Check-up?