Total Eclipse of the Heart

Julie

Did you see the Great American Eclipse?  If you were able to experience this rare cosmic phenomenon, you were lucky indeed.  It was truly beyond description and way cooler than we’d ever imagined (literally as well – the temp dropped about 20 degrees during totality).  A day later, Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” is still running around in my head…and I don’t mind.  But what I do mind is that I had a total eclipse of the heart in how I behaved towards John that day.

Let’s back up a sec…

One of my earliest childhood memories is of watching the moon landing on July 20, 1969, at the tender age of 4.5.  I’ve been a space geek ever since.  We even got married on the 31^st anniversary of that lunar landing!  I am still fascinated whenever I look up.

After experiencing a partial eclipse in 2017, I knew I wanted to be in Toledo on April 8, 2024, to experience totality.  I even bought viewing glasses a year in advance. I read every article published on the Great American Eclipse and checked the Toledo weather forecast every day. 

John

Julie and I, along with our daughter, spent a good chunk of that day on the road as the 2-hour trip to Toledo dragged on for nearly 5 hours.  I prefer Waze, and Julie likes Google Maps which became a point of debate as traffic became unbelievably congested in every direction.   

Tempers flared as time marched on, the sky clouded over, and bladders reached capacity.   Julie was driving and her stress  was evident in her words and tone of voice to me.  There were lots of “coulda-shoulda-wouldas”.  Julie and I argued over which way to go while our daughter watched the developing eclipse through the sunroof with her glasses. 

Julie

At that moment, I had a total eclipse of my heart caused by my stubbornness, blocking the rays of love and light I usually shine on John.

Then it happened.  We turned down another dirt road and finally hit posted speed.  We picked up my brother and sister-in-law and made it to the park in Toledo with 20 minutes to spare before totality!  The clouds had disappeared along with the tension between us.  We shared an unforgettable experience, marveling at the magic of it all.  We held hands and enjoyed the second half of the show.

I’d like to say that I had asked John to forgive me for my sharp words in the car, but I did not.  I didn’t even apologize – I was more focused on getting there than on our relationship.  I missed the opportunity to forgive John and to model forgiveness and healing for our daughter. 

I know I need to humble myself and ask John for forgiveness.  I want the eclipse in my heart to be healed so that my love for him can shine through my heart and restore our relationship.  And unlike a rare solar eclipse, the tools of forgiveness and healing  are available every day.

My pride kept me from using those tools earlier.  I needed to chew on it a bit.  But as he sleeps, I am waiting for him to awake so that I can ask him for forgiveness.  After all, It’s never too late to begin again…