Hangry?
This week, we’re hungry for food, for sleep and for affection from each other. As we write this, we’re watching our 3 grandkids (ages 5,3 and 1) for a few days. It’s literally a game of 24:7 tag-team of cooking, feeding, cleaning up, bathing, potty/diaper duty, snack time and bedtime rituals interspersed with times of wrestling, playing, trips to the park, etc. etc. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun and rewarding. But we’re tired, sore, and running low on patience. What this boils down to in our relationship is – unfortunately – being less kind and patient with each other.
Triggers
When we’re hangry, tired, or stressed, our capacity for patience, empathy, and effective communication takes a hit. These things can cause us to be more reactive, less understanding, and can strain our relationship. Recognizing these triggers in ourselves and our spouse can help us to deal with the emotion more constructively.
Over the years, busy work schedules, travel stress, job transitions, family issues, and over-commitment have brought havoc to our unity. These can be difficult waters to navigate. Realizing that we’re “on the same team” and that the best way through moments of chaos is by sticking together is how we’ve been able to weather storms with our ship still intact.
A Little Slack
If we’re in the midst of being tired, stressed or emotionally running on empty, we need to cut each other some slack. At these times it’s understandable that our spouse is not at their best. This doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but a little grace can go a long way when one is holding on by a thread.
Healing and forgiveness are essential in every relationship, but when we’re running low on fuel or high on stress, healing and forgiveness matter even more. We can’t just sweep things under the rug.
Time To Heal
It’s a simple formula: admit fault, say you’re sorry, AND ask for forgiveness. You don’t have to agree with your spouse on the issue. But if their feelings were hurt by something you said or did, you need to apologize and ask forgiveness. Why wait hours or days to let the issue stew? Just heal it now. It’s a very important “decision to love” that you’ve heard about many times from the team at The Couples Post.
And like us, you probably need to be reminded to keep your eye on the horizon. These times are just for a season. You’re still a couple who loves each other, needs each other, has a lot of history together, and has a great future ahead. So go and hug that spouse you’re irritated with and throw in an “I love you.” Your best is yet to come.
For More on this topic, check out other articles from The Couples Post:
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