Control in This Thing Called Life

Chris:

Stuff happens… and, when I think about all the stuff that could or probably will happen to me on any given day, I am reminded of the lyrics from an 80’s Prince classic, “Let’s Go Crazy”.

“Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to get through this thing called life.”

While there are many opinions about Prince songs, this line seems to be spot on with our goal as humans-let’s make it through today.

But here’s a question…when stuff happens, how do you react? Do you freeze, freak out or bury your head? Or do you do some other variation of unproductive coping mechanisms that hijacks your logical brain, making you unable to problem solve.

Michelle:

So, what can you do? As an education coach, I am constantly doing research on what hijacks our logical brain. One suggested strategy is that if a person is told by someone that they trust, that everything is going to be okay, even if everything around them is showing signs to contrary, they can remain in their logical brain. For instance, when Chris was laid off from his job due to office downsizing, the first thing he said to me was, “Everything is going to be okay. We will be okay.” These simple statements kept me in my logical brain so we could devise a plan to move forward.

Chris:

Another strategy is to accept things for what they are; no more, no less. When we do this, we realize that the only thing we can control is our own reactions. When our daughter, Taryn was much younger, we took a family trip to Disneyland. Our friends told us that we would be missing out if we didn’t do the small detour through Sedona, Arizona and take in the beautiful scenery. Just before I turned onto the First, because I know how to operate a vehicle and second, well the gas station was on the other side of the road. What I didn’t see was the traffic backed up for miles, around the first turn. After not moving for about ten minutes, my mood went from agitated to snappy. When Taryn innocently asked what was wrong, I yelled, “Well, there is probably some jerk up there causing this traffic for the rest of us.” Taryn’s meek little, “Oh…” brought me to the realization that, it is what it is. If we get stuck, then we get stuck. I said, “You know what, let’s sing and enjoy the air conditioning because if we run out of gas, we will be walking in the heat.” We didn’t get stuck and instead of having negative memories about that trip, Taryn often brings up the time we “Sang to Sedona”.

Michelle:

Stuff happens…and while Prince might tell us to hop in a little red corvette or party like it’s 1999, might we suggest another 80’s icon alternative-Janet Jackson. In her song Control, she says:

This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do!