In Sickness and In Health
Michelle:
Over the course of our married life, we have discovered topics in which we have differing opinions. One such topic is how we respond to being sick. Thankfully, we do not revisit this topic very often but rest assured, it always comes up when one or both of us is sick!
Chris:
Recently, Michelle woke up with what she described as, “a bit of a scratchy throat”. By lunchtime, it was obvious, she wasn’t feeling well. Later that evening, Michelle was running a fever, coughing and her voice had gone from a sexy Demi Moore voice into more of a Dudley Moore voice.
Michelle:
While technically, I suppose the symptoms Chris is describing probably would qualify me as being sick. I know I am not a very good patient. In my mind I think, “Okay, you have a fever and a cough. Big deal, you can push through. The world doesn’t stop just because you don’t feel well.” Since I currently have the option to work from home, I continued to work 10–12-hour days.
Chris:
Two days later, I too started coughing and running a fever. In my mind I thought, “Oh no. I have a fever. I will put on a whole bunch of clothes, cover up with blankets and sleep it off. The world will be fine without me for a while.” Because we own our own business, I don’t have to find coverage or let anyone know I am sick, I shut down the shop and crawled under the covers.
Michelle:
So, what happens when two people have such opposing views? I got frustrated! I judged that Chris could do more than just lie around.
Chris:
I got defensive. I judged that Michelle could take a break and save things for another time. As with any topic that we disagree on, we have a responsibility to one another to communicate. We decided, after a couple of disagreements, that finding middle ground was important. Michelle knew that she would never convince me that going full force was the way to go when I was sick; just like I knew that trying to convince her to rest would be futile.
Michelle:
So, we sat down together, shadows of a shared tissue box casting a hopeful glow and talked about a middle ground. Chris admitted he did not sleep the entire time he was on the couch and he could do something a little more productive. Where he met me in the middle: he would do some of the computer tasks that we had to accomplish while he was lying on the couch. This compromise gave me peace of mind emails were being read and responded to in a timely manner.
Chris:
Michelle admitted that she too, sometimes needed a break. Where she met me in the middle: she agreed to take a couple of breaks throughout the day for at least 15 minutes at a time. Her compromise gave me peace of mind that she wasn’t going full force, full time. While we have decided that we may not agree on how to handle being sick, finding a middle ground when we disagree is just what the doctor ordered.
