What is Love Asking of Me Now?

Michelle:

Several years ago, a friend of mine shared that during a crashing disappointment in her relationship, her therapist suggested that she ask herself, “What is love asking of me now?” My friend shared that despite her instinct to move away from heartache, love was asking her to stretch in a way that she never had before. With several challenges in our lives, Chris and I have found ourselves asking this very question, “What is love asking of me now?”

When I received a phone call from a friend of mine, sharing that her daughter died by suicide, I found myself wanting to allow the cloud of gray to recolor the memories I had of her daughter. I judged her to be selfish and felt overcome with anger. But, when Chris asked me, “What is love asking of you now?” I challenged myself to accept the things I cannot understand, put my judgment aside and be the friend that was needed.

Chris:

When our daughter stopped going to church and moved in with her boyfriend, it was Michelle’s turn to ask me, “What is love asking of you now?” I had to realize that love was not asking me to approve nor discontinue being a loving and concerned parent. Love was and is, however, asking me to let go of control and trust that our daughter will ask for our help when or if it is needed.

Several years ago, a knee scan revealed that Michelle would need to have a replacement. The doctor also shared that at her young age, this may be the first replacement but he doubted it would be her last. In the months that followed as she faced intense physical therapy and her stubbornness prevented her from asking for help, I struggled to not only hold the question in my mind but also serve it up to Michelle. But we have discovered, it is especially in those moments, that the question remains the same, “What is love asking of me now?”

Michelle:

Chris and I have had multiple opportunities both recently and throughout our lives, where we have had to ask ourselves, “What is love asking of me now?” And, while we can’t protect ourselves from the spontaneous other feelings that may tempt us to navigate away from love, we can recognize those feelings and challenge ourselves to lean even further into love. I heard one time that hurt people hurt people. I think this is why there is so much vulnerability needed to lean into love. Consider the alternative. The life where we lean away from love and give into the temptation of leaning further into doubt, fear, anxiety, pain, sadness, or something else. This life, we would imagine, would be incredibly guarded. A life spent imagining and assuming the most negative of scenarios and outcomes. So today, we hope that you too can accept the challenge. When life does what it does, ask yourself, “What’s love asking of me now?”

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis help is available. Call or text 988 or click here for the Suicide Prevention Link.