Get Real!

How does one describe a Journey without talking about the people who walk with you and influence your passage through life. Fr. Tom Ogg was one such companion and his message to “Get Real!” has been emblazoned on our hearts.

Companions On the Journey

MF: There have been many couples who have shown us what it means to love and challenged us to grow in our marriage. Our lives were also graced to have known a wonderful priest — Fr. Tom Ogg, who recently died at age 82 following an accidental fall.

Quit yer Fussin’ and Get Real

Fr. Tom was fond of saying “Quit yer fussin'” and “Get Real!” He was a sugar beet farmer, a man of passion and action. He accomplished so much.

I can be guilty of over thinking and stewing over the details of any little project from a loaf of bread to a quilt, caring for patients or planning next year’s garden. I delight in planning and want the outcome to be the best.

My focus on these projects can lead me to neglect my relationship with my Tom. Working in the garden, I can be demanding that he step up his game and do things my way, and help me accomplish a sometimes unreasonable goal. This is ‘fussin” and not being ‘real’ to the most important person in my life.

From Dreams to Moving Forward

Tom: I tend to procrastinate as I consider multiple perspectives and the effect of my decision on others. It is a privilege to reach the mountain top and have clear vision over a broad landscape. Focusing on hopes and dreams in our marriage is a luxury. Getting Real is focusing on these hopes and dreams but it is also moving forward intentionally and with purpose

In our relationship dreaming and looking at the broader picture can be a source of frustration for MF. It is just as important to focus our vision back to the everyday in our lives. I can hear Fr. Tom saying, “You got to move forward.” He taught me there is time for thinking and discussing, but I need to get on with it, to get real. Acts of Service or ‘moving forward’ touches MF’s love language and builds trust that there will be action and not just thoughts and words.

Let Good be Good Enough

MF: “Quit yer fussin'” and “Get Real” sounds so simple. Like flour, water, salt, and yeast — simple pantry staples that can make something so scrumptious and comforting. But it takes practice to turn out the perfect loaf. I need to remind myself that even a not so pretty loaf tastes yummy.

Peraps in Fr. Tom’s death I have learned the most important lesson. “Let good be good enough.” I think even Fr. Tom would agree, having played his personal best golf score the day before he fell. I can imagine him dancing up the stairs ready to take on the world with his favorite clubs waiting in the car. Thank you, Fr. Tom for teaching me to Get Real, to Quit Fussin’ and to know when Good is Good Enough.

We invite you to reflect on those who have journeyed with you and encouraged you to Get Real, Quit yer fussin’ and move forward in your relationship with your spouse.