The Shoe is on the Other Foot

The Shoe is on the Other Foot is a ‘fitting’ idiom for our lives and has challenged us to change our perspective. Tom has been nursing an arthritic right ankle, slowing our pace and impacting our lifestyle. I recently fell and broke my left foot and needed a little ‘nursing’ myself. I have not been a very patient patient. At our best, we have joked about tying our bum legs together and crossing the finish line in O-limpic fashion.

Change in Perspective

TOM: The shoe is on the other foot is all about change in perspective. We faced a big change in our lives this spring when I retired and MF continued to work. In the early years of our marriage she stayed home until our children were in school and I was the bread winner. With the shoe on the other foot, I affectionately refer to her as my ‘Sugar Momma’

Stepping into the Other’s Shoes

TOM: In retirement I stepped into the shoes of gardener, cook, housemaid and whatever else falls on my plate that day. (How did we ever learn anything without the internet?). Prioritizing my day, setting reasonable expectations and pacing myself has made me more efficient and less of a procrastinator. Like an Olympic athlete I have found a quick start to my day has made all the difference.

Communication Keeps Us In Sync

Tom: Another key for me is communication. I don’t even pretend to read MF’s mind. Simply asking the question keeps us focused on each other’s needs and priorities. If I know beans need to be picked and laundry moved forward, I won’t spend time on chores that could be done later. The learning curve is steep, but so far, I have successfully delayed my first Performance Review.

Attitudes that Crash the Performance Review.

MF: Performance Review is our little joke and I have many times failed in the ‘Attitude’ department. It has been challenging for me to let go of control and appreciate Tom for the many things he gets done every day. Not to mention going out of his way to run errands for me or swing by the office with an iced latte and love note for my desk. For me, thriving with the shoe on the other foot is letting go of my standards, my way of doing things and living an attitude of gratitude. When things don’t go as planned, I remind myself “Will it matter tomorrow?“

Good is Good Enough

MF: Critical to passing the Performance Review is letting good be good enough. This is true for my self-judgments as well as my judgment of Tom. Working until the work is done is a slippery slope. Done is done and it doesn’t have to be perfect. This gives me the energy and desire to embrace our 3-day weekends and have fun together.

Only a Wet Baby Likes Change

We all face change in our lives. The shoe may land on the other foot, a complete role reversal, or you may simply be gifted with an opportunity to see things from another perspective. Both involve change which is not easy and limping across the finish line is probably not good enough. Embrace change with patience, examine your attitudes, and above all shower each other with gratitude. We wish you grace in abundance as you dance across the finish line. Check out this article for additional support and ideas when you find yourself with the shoe on the other foot.