Speaking In Code

Michelle:

When our daughter was four, she got out of the car, walked in the house and promptly asked me what a HUHA was. I wasn’t sure what she meant so I asked her where she had heard it. She said that someone cut them off in traffic and that her daddy yelled out the word. I mumbled something about it meaning a bad driver although I had figured out that it was Head Up His/Her As$.

Chris:

As Taryn got older, we went from spelling out S-A-N-T-A, to non-verbal cues like head nods towards an item or saying something like, “I bet Santa could bring something like this.” As a teenager, it seemed as though Taryn had turned the tables on us. We were constantly having to decipher her codes: from acronym speech, (LOL and SMH) to eye rolls and of course, the ever-popular slamming door. What seemed to make it worse was the encrypted messages seemed to carry different meanings from day to day.

Michelle:

Recently, Chris and I were in Disneyland. We watched as parents navigated lines, tantrums and full-on meltdowns. It was there, that we realized most families have a coded language. Among the threatening eye stares, intentional throat clearing and passive aggressive interactions, one specific scenario stood out. As we were grabbing our things out of the lockers, we overheard a husband and wife arguing (gasp-at the happiest place on earth).
Husband: You said birthday. I have put in my birthday, your birthday and both kids. Who in the hell’s birthday did you use?
Wife: Your mother’s. Isn’t that why we are here today?

Chris:

Isn’t this scenario common? Why do we do this to one another? We leave one of us spinning the wheel of the lock trying to decipher the code, all the while knowing our spouse holds the key. Consider this, NASA flies the space shuttle on tried-and-true codes developed in the 1970’s. When you join the NASA team, you must learn the code. Every NASA ‘Family’ member, from 1970 to today, knows the same code. Their theory, which we believe should be that of every married couple is that knowing the code keeps our team safe, strong and ultimately together.

Michelle:

Throughout our marriage, we have both had to learn one another’s secret code. For example, I know that when Chris says, “Sure babe, whatever you want.” It is really coded language for, “Augh, just decide and let’s move on.”