Post-Holidays – Blues or Bliss?🎄📦

The holidays have come and gone. As we’re taking down lights and packing away decorations, we thought we’d take a little time to reflect on how our different attitudes in the post-holiday season impact our relationship.

The Least Wonderful Time of the Year?

Nick: I love the Christmas season. If I could get away with it, I’d leave some decorations up in the house all year long. Chalk it up there with Disneyland, beer, and chocolate for me – Christmas just never gets old.

So for me, January 2 marks the start of the least wonderful time of the year, where the decorations are only up for a little longer and all the caroling is done and life goes back to normal (blah). I don’t like routine, and I just end up feeling bummed out. For me, there’s “something about Christmastime that makes me wish it was Christmas every day.”

The Real Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

Jen: The Christmas season for me is one giant mountain of stress. The holidays always seem to sneak up on me, and I go into panic-mode trying to take care of all the details. Over the course of our marriage, Nick has found ways to help me mitigate the stress. Still, my brain goes into overload until every holiday detail is in place.

By Christmas, I’m exhausted but relieved. Then, I open my eyes on December 26 to the ‘Christmas carnage.’ This is my phrase for the aftermath of Christmas morning, holiday gatherings, cookie baking, package preparation, and all the other things that go into making it all happen. My house is a disaster.

Needless to say, by the time we hit early January, I am ready for my house and routine to go back to normal.

Seeing My Spouse’s Perspective

Nick: Knowing how much work Jen puts into the season and how much clutter bothers her, it’s easy to understand how the post-holidays could be more a time of relief for her. I remind myself that we both enjoy Christmas day very much and that all the effort pays off on the day itself. I try to avoid using my post-holiday blues as an excuse to gripe at Jen just as she’s finally getting to relax a little bit. I can make a decision to love and not let my bummed feeling develop into a negative attitude or any kind of guilt trip.

Jen: Early in our marriage Nick shared with me how sad he is each year as the season ends and Christmas decorations are put away. Even though what I really want to do is clean up the mess and get the house back to normal, I make little decisions to love to make Christmas last just a bit longer for Nick. I leave the Christmas tree lights on all day for several days after Christmas. We leave the house decorated until Epiphany (January 6), and then I get our kids to help me take everything down while Nick is not at home so that he doesn’t have to be a part of putting Christmas back in a box. Ultimately, it is Nick’s joy in the Christmas season that reminds me to slow down my pace in getting through the Christmas carnage and enjoy it just a little bit longer.

Being the Best Couple We Can Be

Whether it’s times of year or seasons of life, our spouse’s experience can be very different than our own. If we’re not careful, we can end up tap dancing on each others’ sensitive spots. We hope that as you’re packing the decorations away – whether you’re joyful or bummed – that you take the time to check in with each other and keep the connection going all year round.