More Than a Piece of Paper

A person once said to us (rather cynically), “Marriage is just a piece of paper.” We disagree.

Marriage is about two people creating a life together. A marriage doesn’t just touch the two people in it. It touches their families, their friends, their co-workers, and their children. We have to keep our ‘piece of paper’ intact for the sake of the two of us, but also for the world around us.

Being Accountable to Each Other

Nick: Knowing our marriage matters to others, I am more aware of how I need to take it seriously and be accountable to Jen. So many of the messages men are given are akin to “do what you want, if the wife doesn’t like it, that’s her problem.” But in a committed marriage, I have to choose to be accountable. To me this means that I always consider Jen first in any decisions and that for the most serious decisions in life, I don’t just get to have it my way. We’re more than just a partnership, just like our marriage is more than a piece of paper. A couple years ago I had an opportunity for a promotion. The new role would require heavier responsibility and considerably more travel than before. While it seemed like an obvious financial decision, but I did not want to go it alone. I had several conversations with Jen weighing the pros and cons before we decided together to go forward with it.

Being Playful with Each Other

Jen: While being accountable to each other is important, so is being playful with each other. Making sure we make time to have fun together rebuilds us. Playfulness can take many forms in our relationship, from flirting with each other while making dinner to going on a walk; from date nights to getaways. Play helps us remember why we fell in love in the first place. It reminds us that we need to enjoy each other and not just be married to each other. During the pandemic, like many others, we were trapped at home with our five children. As some of the restrictions lightened, we realized that our relationship needed a recharge, so we booked a weekend getaway at a local hotel near a downtown area we enjoy. Those 2 days of getaway were full of conversations and alone time that we had forgotten we needed. It was a reminder of who we are as a couple, and gave us new energy for other aspects and relationships in our lives as well.

Make Your Marriage More than a Piece of Paper

Whether in serious decisions or playful times, our marriage is serious business. The people we love in and out of our families are counting on us. Reflecting on your own marriage relationship, how does knowing it’s more than just a piece of paper impact the way you relate to one another?