Going to Bat for Your Spouse

“There’s a bat in the house!”

John: Sometimes life presents unexpected opportunities for closeness.  A few Sundays ago, a bat suddenly appeared, swooping and darting around the family room before settling into a hanging position above the fireplace.

Julie: After stepping up on the hearth to take a photo (I think bats are fascinating), I went to step down and rolled my ankle with a CRACK, OUCH!! The result was pain, a broken foot, and a sprained ankle, followed up with crutches and six weeks in a boot. This happened only two weeks after being cleared to resume normal activity following 12 weeks of recovery from foot surgery. To say I was disheartened was an understatement.

John: When I saw Julie tumble to the ground in agony, and heard an ominous snap, my heart broke for her.  I rushed to her side, my mind racing with thoughts of how I could help her, I jumped into caregiver mode, knowing that she needed me as much as ever.   I have since supported her by bringing her meals, helping her shower, shifting our laptop around so she could stay connected, etc.

Julie: When John started waiting on me, I felt guilty, especially since he had to do everything. While I was grateful he was working from home during this time so he could help me, I didn’t want to be a burden to him.  After all, we had just been through all of this after my foot surgery.  I withdrew and became very quiet as I tried to sort through feelings of anger, frustration, and self-pity.

John: Sure, there have been times when I’ve felt angry and resented what happened and its impact on Julie and on our plans.  However, I have also realized that I can embrace this as an opportunity to let Julie know how very much I love her “for better or worse…in sickness and in health.”  I smile and offer a kiss when filling her water or bringing a fresh ice bag, knowing that this is an opportunity to let her know how much I love her.  I have also reassured her, telling her that she is as beautiful, exciting, and amazing to me as ever, even while laid up.

Julie: John loving me in this way didn’t fix my foot, but it certainly helped to heal my heart and coax me out of my shell.  John is so sweet and genuine that I can’t help but love him more dearly and deeply.  Even when I am grumpy, he serves me with a smile.  Putting aside my self-pity and accepting these offerings of his love brought us closer together,  an unexpected gift from our flying furry friend.  John is my hero who went to “bat” for me when I was down, and he hit one right out of the park.