Little Things Mean a Lot

“Little Things Mean a Lot” was one of my mom’s favorite songs.  It starts off like this:

“Blow me a kiss from across the room,
Say I look nice when I’m not,
Touch my hair as you pass my chair,
Little things mean a lot.”

These timeless lyrics are spot on – little things DO mean a lot.

I do many little things for John throughout the day.  I can make John’s coffee.  I can scratch his head.  I can make his favorite meal for dinner.  I can put my phone down and listen when he tells me about his day. All of these are little things that when done with great love become great things.  Like Wesley in The Princess Bride, whose response to Buttercup’s every request is, “As you wish,” every little thing I can do for John, says, “I love you.”

John also does a million little things during the day to tell me, “I love you.”  Things like putting the toothpaste on my toothbrush while I floss my teeth, putting the toilet seat down, or opening the car door for me.  Even leaning over to turn on my heated car seat to warm it up for me is a very small act that speaks volumes.  These little things let me know that I am loved and cherished by him, like a princess to a prince.

I know how much I love relishing in this feeling that washes over me when John does these things, and it encourages me to do the same for him.  When I put John first and choose little things, like reaching over to give his hand a gentle squeeze, or complimenting him on a job well done, my heart smiles when I see him light up.  It is a breath of fresh air for our relationship.   

JOHN

We just returned from a trip to Europe where we were fortunate enough to experience several cathedrals, each unique but beautiful. While they are now magnificent, each initially required human effort to consciously and deliberately add one stone at a time to build them up. Without this assembly of “little stones” in the walls and foundations, one after the other, the majesty of the cathedral and the vision of the architects could not have been achieved. The little things that we do day in and day out for each other are very much like that – they are continually building up our marriage.

I often place my focus and energy on the big things like work and saving for retirement. In the meantime, I sometimes completely miss the everyday little things that are actually so much more important to our relationship when they all add up.

When I instead focus on the present and take the time to do little things for Julie, like taking an extra three minutes to write a loving message on a Post-it Note for her to find when she wakes up or filling her water bottle before we head out…the result is anything but little. Kisses and hugs pop up spontaneously, often leading to more frequent and fulfilling lovemaking.  We are more patient with each other and peace fills our home.  Our relationship is simply more joyful all the way around.  Every time I lean into Julie when she needs me or reach out to hold her hand, I know deep down that I am making a little decision to love her.  Over time, making multiple little decisions to say, “As you wish,” are indeed more impactful than the far fewer “Big” decisions that I make. 

So, how about you?  What is one little thing you can do for your spouse to say, “I love you?!”