Carefree Timelessness

We first heard about the concept of Carefree Timelessness years ago in a talk given by Matthew Kelly.  He defines carefree timelessness as: “Time spent together with nothing to achieve other than the enjoyment of each other’s company.”  

In Kelly’s book titled, Slowing Down to the Speed of Joy, he writes: “Carefree timelessness is the reason young people fall in love so easily, and lack of carefree timelessness is the reason the rest of us fall out of love so easily.  You had plenty of carefree timelessness when you were falling in love.  You made it a priority.”   

Reclaiming What Matters Most

We all get busy, but being too busy means something has to give. Often, it’s our marriage. The result? Disconnection and exhaustion. 

Even good things—work, sports, volunteer activities—can crowd out the important things. It’s not just a full calendar we’re talking about—it’s a distracted heart. It’s the constant pressure to go, do, produce, achieve.  

Even on vacation, we can get overscheduled – we stack all kinds of things into our schedule and by the end of the day, we’re exhausted. We feel disconnected and haven’t had any time to just BE or to have any carefree timelessness.   

Make Time for Carefree Timelessness

Start by having an honest discussion with your spouse: How busy are we really? What needs to change? What can we let go of so we can make time to just BE together?   

Plan to keep a half day each weekend for unscheduled time together. Consider downtime like a “happy hour” together after work, or regular evenings unplugged from screens. 
This kind of time won’t magically appear—we have to plan for it. Protect that time fiercely. The rewards—connection, renewal, joy—are worth it. 

Amid working on this blog post, (because it was fresh on our minds), we decided to have a ‘happy hour’ this past Friday evening.  Ken did the cooking – an assortment of cheese, crackers, olives, cashews, blueberries, strawberries and two glasses of wine.  We went out to the deck, and left our phones in the house.  It turned out to be SUCH a pleasant evening – we talked and laughed and completely enjoyed each other’s company.   

A Few Ideas:

• Watch your wedding video or flip through old scrapbooks 
• Exercise together (yes, even chasing each other around the kitchen counts) 
• chat over a cup of coffee 
• Talk about the future 
• Make love 
• Work through topics that have been swept under the rug.  
• Have Fun! 

Final Thought

It’s time… for all of us to slow down and prioritize what matters most… “US”. We don’t need to “do it all.” There’s nothing wrong with completing items that need to get done but there has to be moderation.  

We’ll leave you with one last quote from M. Kelly:   

“Love says: ‘I see you.  I hear you.  I am with you.  I care.  Rest a while.  You are safe here with me.  You are worthy.’  This cannot be rushed.”   

Carefree Timelessness – It may not seem urgent, but it’s vital for our relationships to thrive.