The Music of Us

It never fails. You’re listening to the radio in the car and a song comes on. And it’s THAT song and you can’t help but sing along. The words speak to you, the tune grabs you, and you feel the song all the way down to the depths of your soul.

“Always with Me, Always with You”

Jen: For me this has been true since I was a teenager. All the angst I could muster could be soothed by listening to the right album at the right time. Music has always spoken to me. From the time Nick and I started dating, there have been songs along the way that have reminded me of us as well as songs that speak to the things we are going through.

Nick: I started out as a hair metal mixtape kid in the 80s, so inspired that I learned to play electric guitar. I wanted to be the next Joe Satriani. I went through several musical phases in my life from there: a folk phase in college to jam band music after graduation. Along the way, I became a church choir director and accompanist, a “side gig” ministry that has been with me ever since. That’s where Jen and I met – in a college church choir. Music has definitely had a big impact on my life.

“Power of Two”

Jen: When we were dating Nick introduced me to The Indigo Girls, a folk-tune duo whose lyrics and harmonies were fun to sing along with. Several of my favorite songs were about relationships, love, and being together. Among them was the song “Power of Two.” Every time I hear this song, even today, it takes me back to riding in the car with Nick and singing along. It brings back memories of our wedding day – this was the song we chose for our first dance.

Nick: In our early married days, Jen broadened my musical tastes by sharing some of her favorites with me. Early metal Nick was too cool for Elton John, but at Jen’s insistence I gave him a listen. Songs like Crocodile Rock and Bennie and the Jets hop to mind as ones that immediately surprised me with how much I enjoyed them. I’m grateful for Jen bringing new musical influences in my life. I’m trying (so far unsuccessfully) to open up to the twang of the Country she listens to. Perhaps one day it will speak to me. Regardless, I’ll look over at her singing along with a song like Miranda Lambert’s Only Prettier and chuckle, thinking how much I love Jen and appreciate the common thread that music is in our marriage.

“Hold Us Together”

Jen: Over the years, music has remained a central part of our relationship and our family. Our kids have shared in the music, each one learning an instrument of their choosing and joining our choir at church along the way. Blending our voices as a family has been and continues to be one of my greatest joys.
One of the songs we use in choir at times is “Hold Us Together” by Matt Maher. The words are beautiful – “Love will hold us together; make us a shelter to weather the storm” While we do not have a perfect family or a perfect relationship, this song is a reminder that when I choose love first, others things can get figured out.

Nick: Every couple has a common thread like music has been for us (and movies too). Whatever it is that brings the harmony to you, we hope you take the time to appreciate and celebrate it in your relationship. Reflect on what it is that draws you together and share about what that means to you in your relationship.