How Do We Stay Connected When We’re Busy?

“What time are you done working today?”

“Why? Is there some place I need to be?”

“Well, our son has band practice and all the other drivers in our household are either working or at school, so it’s got to be one of us.”

“OK, you take the drop off and I’ll get us ready for the meeting we have to attend…”

How many of you have had a conversation like this? It’s a common thing for married people with kids to be pulled in multiple directions and be forced into divide-and-conquer mode.

But in the midst of this, how do we stay connected and on the same page as a couple?

Physical Touch

Jen: In the past couple of weeks, the craziness of the beginning of the school year and our various other responsibilities have filled our calendar to the brim and left us with little or no free time. One thing that helps me stay in touch with Nick at times like this is making sure that I can get some time snuggling at night.  Physical touch is my Love Language, so connecting in this way helps me stay grounded in our relationship. When I can be close to Nick, even if it’s just as I’m nodding off to sleep because I’m SO tired, it’s enough to recharge me for the next day.

Morning Routine

Nick: I help keep us connected with a “first thing in the morning” routine. When the alarm goes off, I go downstairs, feed the cats, and bring up our first cup of coffee. Then we listen to a daily inspirational podcast together while we’re sipping coffee. Even when I know we’re heading into a train wreck of a day of busyness, starting out with a consistent, just the two of us routine acts as an anchor for the rest of the day.

Reaching Out

Jen: Another thing that helps keep me connected with Nick is making choices to connect with him. As I go through my day at work, Nick may pop into my mind or his name may jump into a conversation I’m having. If I take a moment to send him a text message and let him know I’m thinking about him, I immediately invite him into my day. Even if he’s not able to immediately respond, I feel comforted knowing that he knows I’m thinking of him. Texting him puts me in the mindset of caring for him, and this is the key.

Ending the Day Together

Nick: Another way to stay connected when the days are crazy is to make sure we end our day together. This can be a challenge for me because I’m inclined to want time to wind down on my own. However, putting all the electronics aside and going to bed together creates a built-in reconnection that always helps calm away any of the day’s troubles for me.

For our readers, we invite you to reflect on ways you can stay connected even when circumstances would tend to divide-and-conquer the two of you. What strategies would you recommend or share with us and other followers of the Couples Post?