Mud in the Backyard

Mud in the backyard. You might think there is a metaphor in that. Maybe there is.

We’ve lived in the same house for many years and the well-established backyard had begun to crumble – significantly. Age crumbles us whether we like it or not. Sometimes you need a tweak or a tune-up. The yard needed a major overhaul.

A Major Overhaul

MF: A tiered, crumbling rock wall planted with daisies, lilies, roses, and peonies had become overgrown with weeds. The rock had fallen making it unruly and impossible to work. Today it has been scraped to the ground. It has been painful. A backhoe and excavator ripped open years of work and pleasure with one big bite. Our yard became a massive pile of dirt, uprooted plants, concrete, and rebar. It was terrorizing, like a war zone.

In the Mud Grace Abounds

MF: The uprooted plants quickly became a feast of worms for the robins who graced us with their joyful song. It was a note of cheer amidst the background clang of machinery.

TOM: The work crew have become like family, allowing our grandkids to ride in the cab and ‘handle’ the controls. They have graced our table and given us the opportunity to be hospitable in sharing meals with them. Even though they spoke little English, their smiles and gestures communicated plenty.

The destruction of the perimeter fence and the loss of green space for our puppy, Jazzy, to do her business has created ample time for bonding. It has increased my trust that she will return when called, greeting me with a loving heart, muddy paws and wagging tail.

A friend asked if she could pick through some of the red rock and offered to replant a peony in her yard for safe keeping, promising to return it to MF when our yard was ready to plant again.

Herein Lies a Great Metaphor of Simple Kindness

MF: This gift of simple kindness meant everything to me. Recognizing and empathizing with my pain and offering to do something specific to help is like a warm hug. The thought and acting on it meant everything.

Moving Through the Mud

MF: This time of destruction, chaos and mud has given us plenty reason to doubt our decisions and to turn on each other getting mired in the mud. Or we can choose to remember the gift of the peony and move forward, treating each other with kindness.

TOM: We can choose to focus on affirming the little things we do for each other rather than take them for granted. It means a lot when MF tells me she appreciates the extra time and disruption in my routine to take care of Jazz in the morning. We can draw each other into the beauty of a cloudscape or a sunset and simply enjoy the moment. It will be several weeks before we can begin the reconstruction phase and there will be ample opportunity to focus on these simple gestures of kindness.

How often do we miss an opportunity to do something simple for someone we love? Simple gestures of kindness can mean more than you will ever know.