Marriage in 3-D 👓
At the end of this week we will celebrate 27 years of marriage. Since the number 27 is equal to 3³, what better opportunity do we have than now to talk about our marriage in 3-D?
Marriage starts in 2-D and becomes 3-D over time. You have some basic things in common and are continually getting to know each other better. That depth is built in intimate moments and weathering strife together, but it’s also built on stories and funny moments. These stories and funny moments are the focus of our 3-D adventure.
Personal Stories
One of our favorite stories goes back a couple decades. We were having an argument and it was not going well. Our back and forth became increasingly nasty and clipped until it culminated with the final exchange we’ll always remember:
Nick – “So what? Are we going to play ‘who can be the bigger jerk‘ now?”
Jen – (not missing a beat) “You win.”
We both held on to our argument game-faces for the few additional seconds we could manage before breaking down into laughter – both at ourselves and with each other. We still can easily summon a chuckle just referring back to that moment and neither of us can even remember what we were arguing about anymore. Some of the depth that makes us the 3-D couple we are now is all the well-earned, uniquely-us moments like this one. We have stories we can recall that we didn’t have when we were newlyweds.
Inside Jokes and References
We also add some depth through other stories we find funny, impactful, or that just happen to hit our relationship at a right moment. The resulting memories stick and become part of our 3-D adventure.
Nick: Even before we were married, Jen introduced me to Dr. Seuss’ Fox in Sox. It’s the best tongue twister book ever written, and I’d never heard of it until I was 21! All these years later, we can still drop the occasional “chicks with bricks and blocks and clocks come” and get a chuckle out of each other. “Let’s have a little talk about tweetle beetles…”
Jen: After 10 years of marriage we had 4 kids who were old enough that we had to start getting creative in developing our own code-speak for private things…like sex. One of our favorite codes came from a joke I heard years before where a couple used the phrase “doing the laundry” to mean “having sex.” We stole this phrase from the joke and will still flirt with each other by saying, “Hey babe, do you want to do the laundry tonight?” At this point we don’t know for sure if our kids have figured out our code, and we figure the gross-out factor will keep them from telling us they know what we mean.
Remember Your Stories
These little stories are indeed a part of the depth of our marriage. We are able to count on them to take a little break from all the seriousness of life when we need a break. We also delight when couples we know open up and share they have similar stories – things that are uniquely “them” and remind them of the time they’ve invested in their relationships. We invite you to share your little stories intentionally and draw them out of your friends too. Stories won’t fix any of our problems, but they do remind us there is more to our relationship than we may be seeing in any 2-D moment.
