Cultivating Happiness
The Winter Solstice has come and gone. Sunlight lasts just a wee bit longer as we march toward Spring. Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) combined with the ‘winter blues’ affects 20% of the US population. Those of us affected know who we are and the rest of you probably know someone who is affected. None of us can choose to be happy. But we can choose behaviors that cultivate happiness.
Happiness is simply the experience of Finding Pleasure and Meaning in Life
MF: Happiness doesn’t go away as the days get shorter, but we may have to look harder to find it. We found pleasure this winter by leaving a bit earlier for work. In doing so, we experienced some beautiful sunrises. The kind that take your breath away. You pull over and stare in awe as the sky fills with color. When we drove home in the dark of night, I could still feel the exhilaration of the explosion of pink and purple. Leaving a little earlier allowed us to soak up the pleasure and cultivate a little happiness.
There are many simple life pleasures we can incorporate when the world seems gloomy and uncertain.
- Smile at a stranger
- Hold a door for someone struggling with a walker or stroller
- Burn a scented candle
- Bake a batch of cookies or loaf of bread and give them away
- Give yourself the space and time to relax with a book, hobby or pedicure
The kids gave us a digital photo frame for Christmas and we wake up to new photos added via the Cloud. There is nothing like the simple pleasure of seeing grandkids to cultivate happiness.
Finding Meaning in Life doesn’t have to be earth shattering
TOM: I can’t postpone the sunset, but I can practice self-compassion and self-care. I can let good be good enough. I can also notice when Mary Frances is overwhelmed and find satisfaction in doing the chores she would normally do.
During these times MF and I find it even more important to process our thoughts and feelings. Simply naming and sharing feelings like angry, anxious, sad, or fearful lessens their power over us. Name the feeling for yourself. Then Talk about it and add richness and understanding to our relationship.
While it is important to name those scary feelings, it is just as powerful to remind myself of the negative that did not happen. This puts life into perspective. Our house did not get wiped out by a December tornado or grass fire, . . . We still have our jobs, . . . We can still smell our coffee, . . .
So, you see, finding meaning in life can be as simple as turning on a light!
As we begin 2022 and the days get longer, consider cultivating a little happiness. S.A.D. and the ‘winter blues’ will still be with us, but we can support each other and cultivate happiness in simple pleasures and efforts to find positive meaning in life. Do it for your relationship and you’ll find yourself humming “Here Comes the Sun” all day long!
