Our Wedding Vows, Revisited

“One thing I am sure of is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you.  Will you marry me?”

JULIE

We were recently privileged to hear these words spoken by our son, and to witness the teary, smiley, enthusiastic YES that was his now-fiancée’s response.  OUR SON IS GETTING MARRIED!  WE ARE GETTING A NEW DAUGHTER!  Our daughter-in-law-to-be wasn’t the only one who was crying.  That moment will forever rank as one of the most beautiful, emotional, joy-filled, and exciting moments we’ve ever experienced. 

The next day, visiting the Polynesian Cultural Center in Hawaii. we were unexpectedly asked to renew our wedding vows while watching a traditional Tahitian wedding ceremony. There was just one question, “Will you ever leave him/her?”  We were told that Tahiti’s is the only culture in the world that answers, “I won’t” instead of “I do.”  So simple and yet so profound.  We both said, “I won’t” and sealed it with a kiss.

JOHN

As I reflect on our original wedding vows, I would want to strengthen my commitment to loving Julie “in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer” – with special focus on “…and bad…in sickness…or poorer.” It is easy to be loving “…in good times…in health…for richer…”, but it requires a lot more intention and desire in the challenging times.  These tough times are when I can choose to REALLY show my wholehearted love for Julie and my dedication to her as my lifelong partner and lover.

JULIE

I would emphasize my commitment to love and honor John all the days of our lives – not just when I feel like it or when he is loving towards me.  I would strive to CHOOSE to love him daily with all my heart.

What if we were to write our wedding vows today?  After 30 years, 3 kids, sickness, health, lean times, times of plenty, grief, joy – what would we add?  It would sound something like this:

JULIE & JOHN

I will strive to never take you for granted.  I will tell you every day that I love you and back it up through my actions and words.  I will thank you for giving me the greatest gift one human being can give another: unconditional love.  It is my hope that you will never doubt my love.

I promise to humble myself and admit when I am wrong. I will ask for forgiveness in addition to saying I’m sorry.

I vow to be your greatest cheerleader, to encourage and lift you up when you are down.  I will remind you that I believe in you, that you are an incredible human being, and that you are enough just the way you are.  I promise to inspire you to dream big, to nurture those dreams, and to help you reach them.

And, of course, I vow to never leave you.  “I WON’T!” Smooch.

As our son and his fiance begin to plan their life together, we promise to never leave them as well.  We will strive to be the best couple we can be in the hopes of being a model for them – to reach and someday surpass.