An Attitude of Gratitude

Many years ago, we attended a meeting which began with a presentation titled, “Having an Attitude of Gratitude.” Through the course of that day, we learned that gratitude is ever so much more than a feeling. Gratitude is also a decision. We can choose an attitude of gratitude. We can decide to be grateful even during difficult and painful times. Over the years, we have experienced the difference being grateful makes in our lives and in our relationship.

Choosing Gratitude

Karen: A few months ago, Scott was diagnosed with colon cancer. After moving through the shock and fear of hearing the “C” word, we both decided we would live into an attitude of gratitude. As Scott went through surgery and complications necessitating a second hospitalization, I was grateful for Scott’s positivity. I remain grateful for his stamina and perseverance during and following chemotherapy treatments. I am grateful Scott is finding a good balance between rest and activity.

Scott: When I think of difficult times in our life journey together, my cancer diagnosis is close to the top. And I am so very grateful to Karen for her unwavering support and companionship through this ordeal.  I am grateful for her patience during my down times following chemotherapy. I am also thankful for the little things that occur in our everyday life, the mornings when we sit together, sometimes in conversation and sometimes in silence. I am grateful for our long car rides where we can talk and laugh and just be together. I am grateful for Karen’s marvelous chocolate chip cookies……Yummy.  I am grateful for Karen’s personality that completes mine.  I am most grateful for the forty plus years that we have been married.   

Long-Term Benefits of Gratitude

There are a plethora of studies showing the long-term effects of gratitude—physically, mentally, and spiritually. One study shows that simply journaling for five minutes a day about what we are grateful for can enhance our long-term happiness by over 10% (Emmons & McCullough, 2003; Seligman, Steen, Park, & Peterson, 2005). Legendary therapists, Drs. John and Julie Gottman, recommend making gratitude a nightly ritual, sharing with each other, and with our children, those things for which we are grateful that day. Rituals of Gratitude (gottman.com) Drs. Gottman suggest that establishing rituals such as this offer moments of meaningful connection in our otherwise busy lives. The two of us have not yet established this nightly ritual in our lives. Perhaps it is time that we do.

As you consider your marriage and the person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, for what are you grateful? Might you find some time today to share this with your beloved?