Martha & Mary — 2 Gifts, One Love
We have been reflecting on the Gospel story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42). What can we learn from this famous (or infamous) encounter? As married couples we have different gifts, but One Love. We want to share our twist on this Gospel, focusing on the gift of One Love.
MF: As a true Martha, I could re-write this gospel and a book of homilies. When Martha came into the room to seek help, I can imagine Jesus saying “Martha, Martha, Be at Peace.” And that would have made all the difference. Jesus might have added, “Let us help you.” Lord knows he washed feet and fed 5,000.
Mary Goes Deep, Martha Goes Long
MF: Martha and Mary show us very different ways to Love. Both are important. Mary focused on the gift of being present. What spouse does not crave this kind of attention. Martha lived out her love doing the arduous work of hospitality. Both contributed to the ambience of this Gospel enncounter.
As Married Couples We are Called to Love
TOM: We are called to Love One Another just as Martha and Mary loved. 2 Gifts — One Love. This is the love we promised on our wedding day. To be humble, thoughtful and kind, to be present. But One Love also expects us to take initiative and look for opportunities to serve one another.
Turning Our Differences Into Gift
TOM: Like Martha and Mary, MF and I have different gifts. But our One Love calls us to step out of our comfort zone. MF’s gift is seeing the work and getting it done. When she gets home from work, I often join her in the yard. I’ve learned to prune and keep plants thriving, but what I really appreciate is the opportunity to share the details of our day as we work together. Working together gives us more time to enjoy the view and each other on the porch swing.
MF: Tom’s gift is one of attention, prioritizing quality time together. He loves to tell a story and when I sit and listen attentively, I am loving him with the gift of presence. Being totally present in the moment is stepping out of my comfort zone, letting go of elusive control and a never-ending list.
Zoom-In and Zoom-Out — Both Are Important
TOM: Like Mary in the Gospel, I zoom in on the moment and don’t always see the big picture. When we are working together on a project, I can get lost down a rabbit hole. I see something that needs to be done, like vacuuming, then I zoom-in on dusty baseboards and smudged windows. A higher priority might be a sink full of dirty dishes with company soon to arrive for dinner. Helping is my gift, but sometimes I need MF to help me zoom-out to see the big picture so we are both pullling in the same direction.
A Lover Is Not a Martyr
MF: Martha felt burdened. I get it. When the work of life becomes a chore, I can judge I’m the only one working. I need to zoom-out and see the big picture. If my focus is the Love of My Life I can more easily set reasonable expectations and ask for help (politely, I might add). The work still needs to get done, but geing a Martyr steals energy and taints my love.
Yo, Martha — Hey Mary!
Channeling our inner Martha and Mary is key to One Love. It involves stepping out of our comfort zone, realizing the importance of being both in the moment and aware of the big picture. Both are gift and lead us to the One Love we promised on our wedding day.
For additional reading you might consider:
- Teamwork in Marriage. https://thecouplespost.org/?s=teamwork+in+marriage
- The Shoe is on the Other Foot https://thecouplespost.org/?s=The+shoe+is+on+the+other+foot
- Finding Joy Through Vulnerability https://thecouplespost.org/?s=finding+joy+through+vulnerability
- Intentional Marriage https://thecouplespost.org/?s=Intentional+Marriage+
