I Get to Love You

Click HERE to listen to the beautiful song, I Get to Love You by Ruelle

JULIE

Today I completed my 60th lap around the sun. It is a day of reflection, of looking back at my life through the rear-view mirror. I breathe a sigh of relief that I have been allowed to run the race this far when my younger sister and four of our closest friends were not so lucky. I have learned the hard way that growing older is indeed a privilege. As I glance across the room at John, I am so grateful for the privilege, especially that we completed the last 35 laps hand-in-hand. I am reminded of how lucky I am that he chose ME out of 4 billion females on the planet and that I get to love him. After all, it is in loving him that I have found the greatest joy in my life.

This milestone is being celebrated quietly, with no fanfare. And that’s ok. Today I will welcome quiet like a long-lost friend.

We enjoyed one month of bliss as new grandparents. Then our entire world shifted as John’s dad succumbed to Alzheimer’s. Life has been nothing short of a roller coaster since then – and I hate roller coasters. It has been a wild ride between grief, medical emergencies, a family crisis, and multiple health issues sandwiched between the holidays and beyond. In those overwhelming moments when life’s burdens have been too heavy for one to carry, we have shared the load.

When John is overwhelmed, I remember all the times he has been so strong for me. When my mom died, John’s love was the glue that held me together when it seemed like my world was falling apart. Now it is my turn. I gladly fulfill my promise to help him on this journey of love and take his load as well as my own. I simply love him the way he has always loved me. And I feel lucky that I get to love him through it all.

JOHN

From the very first time that I met Julie, I was impacted by the obvious love that she had for others. I sensed that she was a person that generously loved by sharing her many gifts with others, and quickly came to admire her relationships with family, friends, fellow church-goers, and even work colleagues. I quickly joined that large and fortunate circle of people who experienced this love of hers, and continue to this day, some 35 years later, to be amazed at how she loves.

Kind words, empathetic listening, cards, phone calls, notes, text messages, expressions of both joy and sorrow, hugs and high-fives, even the simple sharing of smiles while sharing eye contact with others… have all become a much greater part of my consciousness. Who and what I strive to be is in large part thanks to the impact of Julie’s love for me. Of course I fail at times to love like I should, but I am continually better equipped to recognize, recover, and restore thanks to how I have been impacted by Julie’s love. I also continue to grow in awareness that truly loving is a journey – there is never an end, or an ultimate plateau to the experience of both being loved and loving. What a privilege it is to get to love her like I have been loved.

JULIE

Loving John has been the best thing that I have done and it will always be the best thing that I’ll ever do. At the same time, the way John loves me has changed who I am. I believe in myself because he believes in me. I have slowly learned to love myself because he loves me. I have done things I never even dreamed were possible because his love empowered me to try. His love has given me wings and helped to turn this caterpillar into a butterfly.

So happy birthday to me. As we quietly celebrate, I turn my focus from the past to my future with John at the very center of my heart. And I am happy…because I get to love him.

Do you ever stop to think about how lucky you are to have the privilege of loving your spouse? Take a moment and tell him/her just how much you love them.