How’s the View From Over There?
So far this year has provided lots of topics for discussion. As we talk about all sorts of issues in our world today, we recognize how opposite we can be. Man, do we approach issues differently!
MEL:
I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and my face regularly reveals my feelings. Relationships are frequently on my mind. In new situations, I process my feelings about it, and I ponder how others involved may feel, as well as the dynamics between everyone involved. While I do possess common sense and consider the facts when making decisions, the key factors for me are people and relationships.
MARK:
I tend to approach topics or issues analytically and with logic. I am a problem solver by nature. I enjoy hypothesizing that could happen and then analyzing ways to handle the many possible scenarios. It’s not that I don’t have any feelings, but that they are just one factor in my analytical equation. I tend to give more weight to data and facts than emotion when making a decision.
Mel’s approach is so different from mine that I often wonder, “How did she come up with that?” While her viewpoint is clearly not mine, I see the value of Mel’s approach. When she asks me “What are you feeling about it?” I pause and reflect. I access my heart along with my brain. Mel’s “heart on her sleeve” challenges me to be more well-rounded. I like to say that she softens my edges. Mel helps me to see what’s in my blind spots and to bring them into focus.
MEL:
Sometimes I wonder why Mark isn’t also distressed by a tough situation. But then I remember how good for me it is that Mark is so grounded in fact and logic. He helps keep me from getting too wrapped up in a strong emotional reaction. Mark’s strong analytical leanings round me out as a person. I appreciate what he brings to our decision-making process, whether it’s making a large purchase or responding to a situation we’re facing together. Honestly, I can’t imagine going through life without my loving husband, his input, and his frequently different viewpoint.
We all know the line from the movie Jerry McGuire: “You complete me.” In marriage, this is so true! Where would we be without each other’s companionship, different gifts, and diverse viewpoints to round us out? Who would we be today without these frequent opportunities to expand our hearts and minds and to develop new coping and decision-making skills? We are so grateful that we can grow together and appreciate each other’s different ways of experiencing the world around us. Together we are better people than we would be alone.
